Thom’s Day

Yesterday was a day of busyness and sadness and happiness too. The party in Thom’s honor seemed too brief and people modulated between the normal family laughter and quiet, sometimes tearful, reminiscence. The day started here at home, Teresa and her younger daughter stayed with us and we packed the cars with chairs and food and easy up shelters. I drove one car with Teresa and her daughter and my niece and her husband. S drove the other with N and R. About halfway there we met our youngest sister and her family at a rest stop. There was some passenger swapping and then we continued on out to the desert. We arrived about two hours before the party started and most of the entire crew (along with Thom’s sons, who were already there) began setting things up outside for the party.

It was nice that everybody pitched in so that, by the time the other guests arrived, everything was done. Thom’s sons each took turns talking about some things they remembered about their dad and it was very touching and a nice touch to the proceedings. I sat a while with N and S and R and then moved to other tables talking with aunts and uncles, friends and other family members. The weather was just perfect and the wind remained at a light breezy level. Thom’s wife chatted with everyone too but she seemed much more quiet than usual. I found out later in the day that her mother had had a medical emergency earlier in the day but she was on the mend.

We returned home the same evening because Teresa had to be at the airport early this morning. I drove them out just as they were closing the streets for a marathon happening today. On my return I had to abandon the car about a mile from home and walk the rest of the way. Today will be a quiet day for us even with N visiting. Everyone worked hard yesterday and wants to take it easy today I think. Although we are talking about going to the movies.

The party didn’t bring the closure I hoped it would. It seemed too busy. Saying goodbye is going to happen in pieces, I can see that now. Letting go a little, and then a little more. But I will always hold some back, for selfish reasons, a small shrine in my heart to his earthly presence in my life. And that will be enough. My brother…