A letter to the Woman Married to my Biological Father

About a year ago this month I found out that the man who raised me is not my actual father. My relationship with the man who raised me is non-existant. I want it that way. He is a toxic, narcissistic asshole.

I found my real dad. His wife is only a few years older than me. I have siblings who are younger than my own children.

My world is rocked.

His wife does not want him to have anything to do with me.

I am hurt.

Heres the letter I wish to send to her if I ever have the guts to do so.

Dear E.

   I know that you do not owe me anything. I have been wanting to write this letter for some time and have finally had the courage to put it on paper. I would like for you to know a few things about me. I love getting to know people, I love children, and I think the relationships you have with your family are one of the most important aspects of a person. I need to know my family or at least have the chance to do so.  

   I would love the opportunity to get to know you and for you to get to know me. I would love nothing more than to be able to have a relationship with you, my biological father, and your family. I understand how my existence was probably a complete shock. It was the same for me too. It was a shock for me to find out that I actually have no siblings that are 100% related to me. It has had me feeling as if I am on an island all by myself and the inability to have the chance to get to know my family has perpetuated this feeling.

   My heart is hurting. I respect you and understand how this entire situation may have you feeling scared for your family and overwhelmed. I was afraid at first but that feeling has gone away because in my mind the scariest thing that could have happened was that my biological father would either be dead before I had the chance to meet him or have a family that did not want to support a relationship with me. I thought the first scenario would be the worst case, but this situation, knowing that there is a person out there who knows of my existence but has made a judgment call about me without even giving me a chance is far, far worse. I would not wish this feeling on my worse enemy. 

   Please give me a chance. None of the actions before or proceeding with my birth are my fault. No one is to blame for my existence. I need to know my family. I would love nothing more than to be able to speak with you. My heart and door are always open. May God bless you and your family. 

Sincerely,

A.