Where are you good luck?

I just got my salary today. Half-pay. I was hoping that since the company have had several seminars, I thought my boss was generous and kind enough to provide us the much anticipated complete monthly pay. But it was to no avail.

I am watching "Kate and Leopold" right now. It was the film I used to watch over and over again. I fell in love with it the first time and still am. But my feeling of sadness overwhelms me. I am in the verge of loosing my momentum. I am at a lost. Tears wants to fall from my cheeks. I feel as if I am doomed to nothingness but suffering.

I have worked at my lfe just to be in the top but luck wasn’t staying very long with me. I have always struggled and dooped down a couple than more times. I may have been able to buy the things I need but not always what I have wanted. I have sacrificed quite a few but the prize wasn’t always it comensurate.

I want to go back home and stay with folks, transfer to another high paying job but the opportunity is very slim and have been shying away. Is it my fault? I have done my part but why has it been unfair?

I feel down and low spirited. Continuation of my masters have been declined, visa issues to be confronted, work transfer still a question, alibi cum reason for resignation of holiday is pending and wating for the right timing. Help me!

All I wanted from the very start was a recognition of my talents and its corresponding just equivalent. I longed for the time when I can independently give the luxury of life to my parents. Treat them to what life failed to give them when they were younger. I wished that I could let them savour the of what life has yet to offer. I’ve always dreamed of taking charge of them so somehow I could make them proud of me. I now they are but it isn’t the one I wanted.

Mom, Dad, I am sorry that I have failed you. How I wish that I could even afford your complete medical check up expenses and share with you the world if only I could