And to all of the people with burdens and pains

 I was so upset yesterday with everything going on.  Stephen worked a 24, I watched a movie, crawled into bed and just started crying.  I needed that and it felt good.  I called him, said my goodnights.  Curled up on his side of the bed and closed my eyes. 

I am not not someone you see in church every Sunday, in fact, I cant even tell you the last time I was in church, other than for a funeral or wedding.  I dont preach, I dont read the Bible, infact, I dont pray as much as I used to.  But, I do consider myself a Christian, I am not religious, but I do believe in God and all the things He has/can/will do.

Last night I decided to just let the burdens go.  I handed them to God, I know He is in control and He will figure things out for me and everything will work out just fine.  It seems so petty, so dumb, to be so upset over my stupid financial situation when there are people out there going through much worse than I am right now.  So, I handed the burden over to Him and I will see where He leads me.  This morning I checked my checking account and my paycheck was $200 more than I expected.  I have enough to make my mortgage payment now.  However, if I do that I will be overdrawn again because I havent been hit with the NSF’s yet.  Stephen gets paid on Friday……so, by Friday I should have my mortgage and insurance paid.  I handed it all over to Him just last night and already this morning things are looking up.

I know that everyone goes through struggles in life.  You have to figure out how to get through them.  Stephen and I are faced with big challenges right now…….but the future……..the future seems so much brighter.   There is potential and I’m excited about it.

I slept on his side of the bed last night.  That was the first night we spent apart in nearly a year.  It was hard for me.  I love him, more than anything, I cling so tight to him, I never want to let him go.  I know that he could be gone in an instant and I do honestly live in fear of that.  Thats why I try to share every breath of life possible with him.  I dont want to miss out on a single moment I could have had with him.  I am truly blessed.

Like I said, it seems so dumb to be so upset when people have worse things going on in their lives.  How could I be so narcissistic?  I have so much to be thankful for, I am blessed in so many different ways.  Shame on me, truly.

I love this song, I love Third Day…….this is exactly what I did……..the first time I heard this song it spoke to me.

Cry Out To Jesus
Words by Mac Powell / Music by Third Day

To everyone who’s lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there’s nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that’s struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They’ve done all they can to make it right again
Still it’s not enough

For the ones who can’t break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you’re not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When your lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight