Thats it…..

 I know I should be working but I cant seem to find the right state of mind to actually work.  Id rather just lay my head down and cry.  I’ve been fighting off tears all day.  I keep trying to see the positive, but that is blocked by the vision of bills stacking up, unpaid.  By my credit getting fked up beyond repair.  So much for a new vehicle.  If I could take out a loan, a loan large enough to pay off all the credit card debt and catch me up on my bills, I would, in a heartbeat.  Unfortunately thats not an option. 

I want to scream!!!!!

How could I let things get this bad?  How could I be so fking dumb?  So irresponsible?

I feel so ignorant at this point.

I feel like such a failure.