March 29, 2006

Now What…..

Ok, so Craig has started his new job and is no longer Stephen’s partner. Craig was the supervisor which means Stephen is on the supervisor truck. They needed a new supervisor, obviously and it just so happens Jennifer got the spot. So, Stephen says he’s not going to work with her because of me. Well yesterday he finds out they moved him, put him on a different truck. He had originally told them he would do either A or B….they assumed he would do C so thats what they did. Now he’s all upset, someone took the other spot on his truck for the other shift. Jennifer is working his old shift and now they have him on a new truck and his partner is switching trucks which means he’s going to get another new partner, someone probably from a different branch of the company and he doesnt want to have to go through ‘learning’ a new partner. Understandable. So all day he was going on and on about it, how he was going to quit his job and such, understandable as well. I know he wants to be on the truck he is on now, I know he wants to work with Jennifer, that would make him happier than a pig in shit. Now he’s miserable and its because of me. I got the feeling that all day he was trying to get me to say that he could work with her and Id be fine with it. Just the way he was saying things. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! I told him to go work with her, I told him Id try to control myself but to do it because then he wont have all the other bullshit and he wont have to quit his job. He kept saying no. All day long he was saying he wouldnt go work with Jennifer because he didnt want to cause problems with me, just the way he was saying it was pissing me off. It was almost like he was saying "Well if you werent such an insecure bitch I wouldnt be having these problems" Just the tone of his voice. So I feel like fking shit. Then last night he calls me to tell me that now Jennifer has made him feel like shit. That she asked him why he switched trucks, is it because he doesnt like her or what…….to me he was saying "Look what you did, now you’ve made me the bad guy" It just pissed me off.

What about me and how I feel? Stephen did it, he could have prevented it. Like I told him last night, I didnt have any problem with his previous female partner, I admit sometimes I got a bit annoyed when I was on the phone with him and he was carrying on a conversation with her instead of me, but other than that it didnt bother me.

Theres just something about Jennifer that I dont like, my gut tells me to be careful. I havent met the girl, but still the feeling is there. Ohhhh speaking of which, he told me last night that I was eventually going to meet her….I told him thanks, but no thanks, Im not in the slightest bit interested. Why would I want to go meet some fking bitch that already drives me nuts as it is? So I can sit there and feel uncomfortable and have terrible thoughts the entire time Im watching you two laugh and cut up and innocently do what I see as flirting. NO FKING THANKS!! I can fking live without that. I havent met her and I already have bad feelings about her and you want me to fking hang out with her in the hopes that we become buddies to make your life easier, NOPE!! I didnt tell him these things, he doesnt want to fight. Im not trying to fight, I just dont want her around, like I said, something is telling me to becareful. He says I have nothing to worry about, and as far as he knows, I dont……but you never know. I have NO desire to watch them interact, it will just hurt me more.

So, I feel ike a selfish bitch, like Im in the wrong here, like I should just get over myself and give in and let him work with her without problems, but I dont want to. Am I wrong? Should I just get over myself and let it be? My gut is screaming at me not to. Not trying to imply that Stephen would cheat on me……physically, but just sharing a closeness with another female is a form of cheating. Just having a very tight bond, being open with her and such, thats a form of cheating. Stephen isnt very open with me sometimes, and Im sure he is more open with her, why wouldnt he be, he has nothing to loose, right?

I dont know, Im just pissed and depressed. Pissed that I have to be the bad guy, that all this shit is my fault and depressed for the same reasons.

I dont feel like writing any more, maybe I will be back later.

Omni-confused

March 30, 2006

I think that Stephen is using a bit of passive aggressiveness with you. That is the way you make it sound anyway. Perhaps he really is just upset about it and you are the person he talks to when upset and your taking it the wrong way. I’m only getting your side of the story and not his so it’s hard to say. But what I do know is that your gut is telling you that their could be problems in the

future if you allow it. But your gut is cuasing problems right here and now. If you think that this girl would tempt Stephen and that he might cheat then you don’t trust him. If you think that she will just try to hit on him and he will have to reject her then I say allow it. It all boils down to whether or not Stephen loves you enough to not do anything with another woman. There are some other

things too. Stephen probably feels really controlled right now. You’ve put him in a tough spot where he feels the only option he has is to do what you want. Even though you told him that he could if he wanted to. I bet your tone of voice, body language etc told him that was a lie. Men know these things, just like when a woman says nothing is wrong when obviously something is. Same type of thing

here. He knows you said he can if he wants to, but he knows that if he does he will get grief over it becuase you didn’t want him to. and if Stephen feels steadfast in his loyalty to you, he could feel like he’s being punished and coerced for nothing. That could be another reason why he isn’t letting it go. Men don’t like to be forced or manipulated. I know that isn’t what you think your doing,

but he could see it that way. He hasn’t done anything wrong and (he knows that he won’t) yet he is still being forced to go through all this other stuff. Now you are right you have feelings too and he should look to those to. So instead of playing the skirting the issue game, by him whining about how much it sucks and you saying “it’s ok if you want to” you two should just talk about what is

really going on. Maybe get him to admit that he feels forced into something by your insecurities. Tell him that your gut tells you these things. He shoudl respect that, gut instincts are almost never wrong. Anyway just talk about what is at the heart of the matter.

all these notes are from me, not sure why I was able to sign the first one and none of the rest. but yeah, Just my two cents worth. Omni-confused

haha, stupid thing logged me out, that’s why I couldn’t sign my name

ImTheLuckyOne

April 3, 2006

I’m just like you, hun. Selfish isn’t bad! Sorry to be cliche, but if he loved you he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, even if you were being too selfish! Hope it works out, let us konw how it goes!

Snugs

April 7, 2006