Loooong Night

So Stephen and I had it out again night before last.  This time it wasnt so bad.  Im actually feeling ALOT better.  We fought for a bit, made up, talked then made up some more.  We didnt go to sleep until around 5 amish and both had to work that morning, he had to be up at 6, me at 7.  It sucked.

I told him way back when he was throwing all his ex’s in my face and shit all the time that when I was ready to know about that stuff I would ask.  He kept pushing it on me, trying to tell me about it and I just wasnt ready to hear about his past yet.  So I spent ALOT of time asking questions that night, I was finally ready to know.  Now I feel alot better I guess.  While I was sitting here at work yesterday a ton more of questions came pouring into my mind but Im just going to leave it alone for now.  I know as much as I want to know right now.

The night I gave him that letter and we were up all night fighting he said his chest had started to hurt.  He said something several times, so while he was at work yesterday he had his partner do the EKG thing for him.  So, he had Craig read it for him and Craig says he might have had a heart attack.  He is going to go to the Dr to see whats up.  Well, he was going to go to the Dr, now he’s torn, does he go and lie to me about the results or does he not go at all.  I told him that if he had a heart attack I would leave, simply because I caused it, possibly.  Im not going to stick around and kill the poor guy.  That wouldnt be very nice of me.  It’s not that I want to break up with him, but if I stress him out enough to cause him to have a heart attack at BARELY 26 that’s just not a good thing.  I told him he’s probably getting all worked up over nothing.  I admit Im a bit scared now too of the outcome, but I cant let it show.  I have to stay positive for his sake, right?!?!?!

He got a call from a car dealership saying they could work him a deal.  He’s going to 2 different dealers today to see what kinda deal he can get.  Im worried about that too.  He doesnt manage his money very well and spends too freely so Im a bit concerned about it.  I dont want him to get into something he cant handle or afford.  He promised not to buy anything today, not until he talks to me first.

I know, Ive been a bad OD’er lately.  I promise to try to get better.

Take care guys!