Exploding brain matter all over my desk

Thats what I thought was going to happen yesterday.  My iritis has been bothering me for the past week and yesterday it created this terrible migraine which still has not fully gone away.  I left work at 3, said to hell with it, went home and went to sleep.  From the base of my skull, all the way around the fore part of my head, hurt like you wouldnt believe.  My entire face hurt, my jaw, my eyes, everything.  It was almost like the fore part of my head was about to explode.  Around three I started to get naucious (sp?)  so I just left.  Everytime I moved my head to fast it hurt, when I put pressure on the pain, it hurt.  Geeze it was awful.  Its a little better now, but still hurts.

Stephen’s little brother had surgery yesterday.  They were expecting him to be kept overnight but the good news is they let him go home.  The surgery itself went well. 

Stephens mom got my card.  I was starting to wonder because nothing had been said about her getting it and it had been over a week.

I was missing him something terrible last night.  After I woke up, I watched my new fave show, watched a little of some other crap then called him.  Around 11ish we talked again and said good night then I tried to go back to sleep but I just couldnt.  I was missing him.  As much as it annoys me at times to wake up plastered to the wall, I was craving that annoyance last night.  ::shrugs and sighs::  Oh well, I will get it tonight.

My new fave show, The First 48 on A&E, anyone else watch that?  I LOVE that show.  For the past 6 years or so Ive gone back and fourth with what I want to do with the rest of my life, work with animals, work in a hospital/doctors office, work with special needs people, or forensics.  I ALWAYS come back to forensics.  So, this summer, Im going to gather up what I need to get started with that.  Wish me luck.  Perhaps I can get my surgery done, go to bartending school, quit my job, bartend at night and go to school during the day.  Thats my ideal plan.  We shall see how it works out.  Only major issue now is Stephen.  Well, and money.

I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning and I look like Im about 3 or 4 months pregnant.  My goal for the year is to get rid of the weight I gained last year.  A major issue with that is that I have been eating an extra lot lately and Im not sure why.  Yesterday I had two microwaveable dinner things for lunch, a few candy snacks here and there, when I left work I went to taco bell, had a 1/2 lb burrito and a quesadilla, then when I woke up I had about 7 or 8 slices of pizza.  For breakfast this morning I had leftover pizza, 6 slices.  Whats my problem?  Why the hell am I eating so damn much lately.  I need to find the motivation and time to shed the pounds.  Im totally disgusted with myself.  Everytime I look at myself in the mirror I cringe.  I used to feel sexy, now I just feel sloppy.  I think thats partly why Ive become so lazy in bed.  I just dont feel sexy, so I am always very aware of myself and cant really enjoy myself as much as I used to.  When you gain 30-45 pounds in a little over 6 months, thats a drastic change.  Anyways, I will shut up now.

Im so glad today is Friday, its been a long week.  Enjoy your weekend guys!