Numbing my soul…..

I have developed quite an infatuation with a fella I talk to in a chat room on one of the websites I post my pictures.  He’s from across the pond and I just cant get enough of him.  Quite a crush I must say!

Anyways….Jonathan…..he can afford a trip to Vegas, but not Houston?  What the hell is up with that?  Too many signs are pointing to no.  So honestly, I’m done with it now.  No more planning a trip, no more nothing, just internet pals, thats it.  Im not saying he had to come to Houston, but just the fact that he claims he cant afford the trip and then plans for a trip to Vegas, hurts my feelings.  If he doesnt want to come, he can just say so. 

Last night I had a crazy dream.  It felt soooooo real.  Bare with me a bit as I try to piece together the details. Me, mom and Kris(my sister) were coming back from somewhere and she came into my room asking me what mom had said about her.  Apparently mom had been buying her CD’s for no reason so I said "She just said she noticed yall listented to alot of music so she was going to buy you some CD’s"  Apparently this was a big deal.  Next thing I know Im looking out the window at a transexual yelling in our direction at someone in the room with us, apparently the person in the room, who I knew, had said something so the other one was coming to get him.  Now we are in a hotel room of sorts and this transexual is apart of some kind of transexual mafia, and the ‘boss’ shows up.  They have guns and we all run and drop to the floor.  Theres about 6 of us in the room.  I fall to the floor and feel them shoot me in the back, apparently they didnt think that was enough so they shot me again about an inch above that.  It was soooo real, I could hear the gun shot and feel the blood pool underneath me.  Then my entire body started to go numb.  I suppose this was from the blood loss.  They shot everyone in the back.  One of them left and my sister was in the next room, she was going to get up.  We were all still alive, but pretending to be dead.  My sister got up because she thought they had left, the boss was still there so he shot her, this time with a machine gun.  I could hear round after round going off and was thinking of my sister lying there in bits, I wanted to cry but knew I couldnt for my sake.  I had to lay as still as possible.  I was trying to figure out what I would do if one came over to check my pulse or something.  How I would slow my breathing and try to fake them out.  Shortly after another one came back and told the other it was time to leave, so they both left.  We all waited a while and then someone said they were gone so we got up.  Me and 2 others snuck out the back into some woods and made our way to the hospital.  Thats when I woke myself up.  This dream was soooo real to me, Im telling you my entire body went numb and I could seriously feel the blood pooling around me and running out of my body.  I knew I was dreaming but couldnt wake myself until after I stepped out of the woods.  I could feel myself lying in my bed in the exact position I was on the floor in my dream and I was afraid if I moved in real life, my body in my dream would move and I would be dead.  Maybe this was an OBE??

The other night I dreamt Joseph shot my family.  The entire family.  I dont feel like typing that entire dream out.  But I managed to survive or escape him somehow long enough to call 911.  I told them who he was, gave them vital information about him, then he found me. 

The night before last I dreamt I was looking at pictures of my private parts.  Apparently I had taken some new pictures to post on the website, when I went to review the post they were pictures of me like on a grocery shelf, next to canned foods and such.  The reviews I got for the set were horrible and such and in my dream I was thinking the set was awesome.  After I looked at the post though I was a bit dissappointed in the set.  I think I pretty well know the meaning of that dream.

Anyways I’m hungry, I’ve got to finish this report before I go.  I’ve been in that damn chat room all morning long havent done a damn thing. 

Have a great day all!!  BYE BYE!!