10-20-93

10-20-93

Well, I’ve changed my mind about nursing – I’m bottle feeding my baby now. Aside from the pain – I didn’t feel very comfortable putting Aaron to my breast – I felt trapped and extremely unhappy! Now I have to wait a few days to have the engorgement go down. It’s VERY painful, especially at night–enough to make me cry, and I can’t get comfortable to go to sleep. Dr. Buchanon said to "wean" Aaron, to feed bottle ½ the time, and nurse the other ½ but I’ve gone 9 hours without nursing him, so maybe the drying up will go faster. I’m hoping the doctor will call back to answer these questions. (She’s gonna think I’m a nuisance if I keep calling her with these questions!)

10-23-93

It’s quiet in the house right now – Kevin’s mother is gone to work, the baby is sleeping and Daddy is napping. In a couple of hours we are going to take Aaron to visit Grandma and Uncle Donnie, and Aunt Bambi. I don’t what to do about my mother-in-law! When she was making plans to stay, I was told it would only be 2 or 3 weeks, a month at the most, but right after Aaron was born, (while I was still in the hospital in fact) she just announced that she got a job and she was staying until after Christmas! I don’t know if she discussed it with my husband, but nobody said anything to me, and I really wish she wasn’t here! She told Kevin the other day that I got mad at the baby, and she was worried about how I was going to handle the stress – what a fucken joke! She was stressed when Kevin & his brother were young, and she was abusive – I don’t think she has any right to dictate to me (or behind my back) how I should be as a mother.