April 11, 1993

10:01 am

Happy Easter! I’m just sitting here enjoying my breakfast – pretzals and a big glass of milk. In 2 hours K. and I are going to his Dad’s for dinner. I’m hoping maybe someday Norman will let me call him Dad. I already call his mother "mom". Only time will tell, right?

April 12, 1993

3:51 pm

I just decided to sit down and write about K. and mine coming addition to our "family". To be honest, Baby A. isn’t on my mind alot, hardly ever really, but my doctor says that "animosity" towards a baby or pregnancy is normal, even if the baby was something I have wanted for ALWAYS. I told K. that if I didn’t have morning sickness and my growing breasts, I wouldn’t even know that I was pregnant. I sometimes wish that I thought about my baby more often, because I feel a little bit guilty, because I’m gonna have a baby, but so far my thoughts or life hasn’t been altered or changed too much! I have all the material K. and I need for "our" baby, but I’m not sure if I am prepared to be a mother – emotionally? I can’t even picture myself holding a baby, and I CAN’T begin to picture my baby. It gets a little disturbing sometimes!

April 13, 1993

9:47 pm

Well, I’m gonna have a busy time the next 2 days! Tomorrow Lena is coming to visit in the a.m. and my brother-in-law is coming to visit tomorrow evening around 5 or 6pm with his new girlfriend (his father is still "in the dark" about the girlfriend!) And on Thursday one of my neighbors are coming by for a visit. She was walking by the house this afternoon, so I went out and spoke to her. She’s 22, and has a 2 year old daughter "Tiffany". I told her that I was dying for someone my own age to talk to, and visit with. We were talking outside for 45 minutes! Hopefully this visit will be the start of a friendship. ( I seem to remember going through this same thing with Lori!) But Angela seems nice, and she can talk with me about Babies! AND she lives right next door! Well, only time will tell – let’s see how Thursday goes. I know I shouldn’t do it, but I have high hopes for this, someone to take walks with, our kids can play when we visit. She seems like a really nice person, and it would be nice to have a friend that is so close that I can walk over to her house or vice versa. Maybe it will be something good. Fingers crossed!