Petty ass

So it’s been at least a week or so since we’ve had sex. I really don’t have the desire anymore. He’s the reason for that, but I don’t want him touching me at all. He couldn’t help himself yesterday morning after ignoring me all night then going to sleep on the couch. I ignored it. Then last night he decided he was going to go to bed early and not eat. I wasn’t going to, I was sleep because I barely got sleep the night before. Well he lays there, I asked about his day, he talks then rolls over to listen to and delete voicemails. Then he gets up to go fold the laundry and does so in the living room. At some point I got up to ask if mr petty was ok, he said he was. I warmed up food and took it to the bedroom to eat. He brought the clothes in and put them away then left to warm up food. He never came back in the room. He’s still on the couch right now. Petty because he knows he won’t get any from me, so he’d rather sleep there. That would bother me in the past, now it doesn’t phase me. It’s awkward now, but not as stressful thankfully.

Instead of being a man and talking to me. Instead of freeing himself from being in this, he chooses to ignore me. He chooses to be an ass. What he’s done is prepped me for life without him. I can’t even say I have any love left for him. My mind and heart have been occupied by Anthony even though we aren’t a couple…yet. I’m willing to bet that S is already talking to his ”friend” Ann and getting it from her. I don’t wanna know if he is. I’m not trusting that he isn’t. He’s betrayed my trust before but will deny it to the death. He would not be able to handle the things he’s done to me. If I said fuck it and moved on with Anthony instead of making it official that S and I are free to see other people, he’d be shitty. His ego is already bruised, but if he’s gonna be petty anyway I may as well move on now. He doesn’t deserve my respect or my consideration for his feelings. Lord knows he doesn’t care about mine.

I’m not holding on to spare S’s feelings. We are dead, it’s boring as hell and we just coexist. Why won’t he just break it off? Always waits for me too. Petty coward. I’m gonna try talking to him probably tomorrow after work since we’re both off then. Either way, the relationship is dead and over with. I can’t even sleep with him, with the feelings I have for Anthony, I can’t do it. I’d feel wrong in doing so. Funny how that is, considering we’re not dating.

Well I am gonna enjoy having the bed to myself. I’m hoping this week brings good thing and good news my way. I think I at least deserve to be happy. So happy is where I’m headed.