YAY

My son will be here until Sunday, which means he will maybe even get to see his grandmothers new car.

And once she gets that delivered, She said she’d be down so we could get stuff done.

And then I am planning to get another vehicle.

My only much needed purchase, might be to get new carpeting for the living room.

And I’ll be honest, at this point I am really unsure if I will stay here for much longer.

The whole damn point was he’d go to jail to get his shit straight, I would be out here, getting my shit straight.

And 3 years just was not long enough, for him. My mothers house is looking like a great possibility, but again what happens when what i said

would happen comes to fruition?

Well, then i guess its back to hotel rooms. And I’m not about that lifestyle, anymore. So I find it really odd that he is.

Hes looking for a connection and letting ours go.

And I find that hard to believe, too. The thing is one of my friends and i were talking earlier, I’m an option because my door is open. I should be a

priority. The thing is, with Bipolar mania, everything you think should happen, gets turned around and just gets weird.

I am not using it as an excuse. But what i am is understanding. And I also know that Latuda is fucking everything he worked so hard for, UP.

The sooner he gets that, the better off we both will be.

What i need to remember is all the positive things he’s told me. I need to forget that ugly shit he’s said and done.

The biggest issue is that he did cheat on me for years. And I’m not about that lifestyle, either.

So, my boundaries are still in place.  I will not sink low.

Only growing. And that’s what he’s telling others, but isn’t doing for anyone. That’s what hes on therapy for.

Thats not my problem. What he cannot do, is come stay here. My rules are get anger management.

He knows he has problems with it. He isn’t getting the help, so… this is why we are where we are.

His anger is out of control at times. He can be the sweetest man in the world but once mania hits, i swear its exactly like super man and the incredible hulk. However, I will not allow him to treat me with disrespect. Now he opened that door. He needs to put that effort in, or it’ll forever remain a crack.