Eyes Open

As a teenager I kept a diary and would write in it for hours. About my day as a high schooler, my friends and crushes, my dreams, what I wanted to do with my life, what my husband would be like… and then all the sudden life got really hard. I stopped writing as I went through depression, social anxiety, an eating disorder, schizophrenic thoughts, heartbreak and rejection, cutting, drug abuse… it was the darkest decade of my entire life. And when I got to a place where I felt like I had nothing left and was ready to call it quits, a friend showed up… He helped me out of the darkness and into the light. He didn’t push me but he sat with me until I had gained some strength. He gave me water to drink and food to eat. He put a healing oil over my wounds. Then he listened and let me pour out my tears and pain. He knew how much I had been hurting and cried with me. As he spoke I realized he already knew everything about me. He had been walking not far from me the whole time that I was in darkness, but I didn’t see or hear him. Listening to him speak brought comfort with each word. I felt the breath of life flowing back into me. The tightness around my chest began to loosen. The weight on my back grew lighter. Suddenly it was like the whole world shifted and I could see things differently.  He told me there was another path I could take if I followed him. I looked back at the path of darkness and knew I would die if I kept going my own way. But he promised his path would bring new life. At this point there was no turning back for me. I took his hand and we have been inseparable ever since. He’s shown me so much and though this new life has it’s own share of bumps… he has kept me lifted up and shown me true freedom. He has blessed me more than I ever thought possible. So much that I have to share who He is to me. So this diary will be a record of my walk and my relationship with Jesus, the man who saved my soul, my first true love. I’ll be sharing some old memories and some new lessons I’m learning along the way. Feel free to come along.