to be honest..

 i dont really know how to explain myself.. 

in my family i’m always doing the wrong thing no matter how much i try. i’m not allowed to be me i guess..

i got tattoos. i dissapoint my aunts and dad and grandma.

i got a visible piercing. "you used to have such a cute face kristen, until you got that thing in your nose"

its no lie that i’ve been trying to deal with a lot lately.. i flipped out. at mum. and we ended up getting into a fight. which ended up with me wanting to be alone so i can calm myself down but mum still doesnt get it. i dont think she ever will.. i pushed her out of my room, not hard enough to hurt i just wanted her to leave me the fuck alone and stop screaming at me. but she came back. she hit me. i pushed her out of my room again. she came back and punched me in the face. i pushed her out and closed the door. she just… kept coming back.

i just wanted her to go away…

all this happened a few days ago, and i havent spoken to her. she hasnt spoken to me. i dont want to talk to her again.

i want to move but i cant. 

my clothes are wrong, my words are wrong. everything i do is wrong.

wrong wrong wrong.

mum wants me to be normal. but i’m not normal.. i cant be normal. all i can be is me. but i cant be me cos my family dont like me.

i just wanted to be left alone..