A complete dream

 You remember that one summer night when I asked you what we were? I didn’t know what I was expecting when I asked you that question, I just needed to clear it to whatever it ended up being because I couldn’t be with you only to know you can walk away from me so easily – again. 

That night you opened up to me and told me about this girl. This girl who met your entire family, who was special to you and with whom you wanted to spend forever with. But she left. 

Days after that talk all I could think about was how close I was to losing you forever – not to say we were dating at that time or anything – and the disbelief that she left. 

I couldn’t wrap my head around why she would ever do that. I would never do that. How could she. What was wrong with her? 

And about a year later you tell me you are in love with me. 

I have never. ever. been speechless like this before. Ever. 

And while I told you I love you too, I always have loved you. This finally happening, that very moment that I’ve waited for since…. was a dream. A complete dream. 

I waited for you to say it again. Not because I didn’t believe you felt that way but because I couldn’t believe it actually happened. I wondered if you said it cause you were in the moment and I wondered if you regretted saying it. Surely, if you did, you wouldn’t say it again I thought. So I waited for you to say it to me. 

And then I remember that one perfect night under the open sky when you held me in front of you and looked in my eyes as you repeated that you love me. You said it again and again and again. You said you’re so glad you can FINALLY say it out loud. 

You have no idea how that felt…

…or how it feels every single time you say it. 

I’m still speechless because  this can’t be my reality. You’re kidding me right? 

I hold you onto this pedestal, because you have left that impression on me, I don’t know how or what you did to make me feel that way. I’ve always felt like I’m not good enough for you. You deserve someone so much better but I am not gonna let you go. 

Because for as long as I can remember, you’re the only person I’ve never stopped wanting to be with. And even though, I know I have you. I can’t stop wanting to be with you, still.