Those dreams

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I’ve never dreamt so extensively, so often about someone in particular. Never woke up remembering every single detail of what that dream was about, who I met, where I was & what I did. It all seems so crystal clear almost as if it was reality; these dreams, they make perfect sense. They are like life events, my emotions and feelings are way too realistic. Thoughts run through my head about what is happening (in the dream) or whoever I talk to. There’s hope – in my dreams; I am hoping of one thing or another in my dream..how crazy is that?

I can’t even count how many dreams I’ve had pertaining him; they’re full of detail and color. Some days, I don’t talk to him at all and I wake up the next morning with one of those dreams. I may be over-reacting but maybe in all this confusion of what these dreams mean and why I have them so often, there really is hope underlying it all.

I know it’s because I can’t stop thinking about him. My brain turns all the thoughts throughout the day into that one dream that takes my breath away. I’ve thought about particular boys before, I’ve been happy with other boys before but I’ve never had dreams like these that I actually remembered. I’m astonished at the clarity of them.

Him meeting my family, our family dinners together, me thinking in my head that this is going to work out just fine (in my dream), him proposing to me…

Stop. Just stop. I can’t torture myself by thinking like this.