He’s left me before

 okay… after about 7 hours I replied to him. He responded back quickly and again asking to ride with him. I agreed. 

Got off work and texted him but he never got back to me. I watched a movie on tv and then decided to go ride. It was 9pm. As soon as I left my house, he called me..

"Hey… I just woke up"
Me: "Ohhh man I thought you ditched me"
"No…I was tired. wanna go to sonic?"

So I told him I’ll meet him at his house. We rode to sonic and as we sat down to eat, it started storming. We sat inside as he put his arm around me and watched the storm through the big windows. We talked and laughed and shared a large drink and jalapeno poppers. We rode back to his house through the rain. When we got inside, we went to his bathroom and blow dried ourselves lol with a hair dryer. 

He came real close to me and  hugged me. My skin peeled off my thumb from the handle while riding my bike and because it was raining, my bandaid got wet and I took it off. We walked into his room, he looked for some antibiotic cream and put it on my thumb and rubbed it in. I was baffled and happy that he took care of me like that. Then he wanted to show me some game on his computer. He put me on his lap and we looked at the game. 

We sat for a little bit, looking through a book he had recently bought. Then I decided to ride back home so he came to drop  me off. He watched me as I put the bike inside and didn’t leave until I waved goodbye. 

I like him. I like him a lot and I want this to work. Him and I. 

I just don’t know if I should sit and wait for him to come around to me.. He’s left me before..twice and this could be no different. But we’re both older now and I’m not boring with him, I’m actually myself. I try to impress him less and be myself more. He feels comfortable enough with me to be the way he is. 

Idk… all I know is that I’m not as young anymore. Time is ticking..if this guy just wants to play games with me, I have  no time.. 

but my heart is stuck and not ready to move from him. 

I’m torn.