A Happy Disappointment

So you just called to tell me that “they” called, by they I mean the States Attorney Office.  You got the job, the one you have been waiting for.

But. 

Why am I not happy, why am I crying?  

Well it was just this past week that we were making plans for your move back here.  I told myself not to get my hopes up but I did.  I should have known it was too good to be true to have you back here with me. I would have purchased your ticket on Monday but I didn’t.  Now I see why

It just sucks because I had begun to imagine how life would be with you being here. But now I have to reverse and remove all of those thoughts.  I have to prepare for my move.  When? Where will I live? I have to be out by June because that is when our lease in this house ends.   

I feel so overwhelmed right now.  I just want to go to sleep…I will try to finish this at a later time.

Congratulations on the Job!