It’s not as easy as I thought

Having a boyfriend that is– rather maintaining a relationship. The first few months are always great people say. But they neglect to say that they are also the most difficult. During this time is when you are learning each others differences. And in my case still trying to cut lose ends. It seems like once those loose ends realize they are being cut that is when they try their hardest to hold on to you. Why didn’t you say these things then, or do those things then? One may never know.

But for me the test comes when I have a dispute with the boyfriend and then am tempted by a loose end, by a simple phone call. I tell myself no, its hard because before it would be so easy to pick up the phone and dial another when one was acting up. But now I cant, because I know its wrong. And I know that I want to be with him and that I need to go to him and only him when I am feeling that way. However its very hard especially when I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong.

A cousin, well not really its by marriage but still. I went out with him and needless to say HE didn’t like that too much, he tells me after I had asked him several times if it was okay to go, after I get back from dinner, and after he made plans to go out. So instead of coming over last night to be with me, you decided to go out to "a function".

Hmm now if I was to act out of anger I would have picked up the phone to call leasing boy, and made plans to go out and get wild at Happy Hour. But I tell myself Serenity…you are growing up and if you want this, you all have to work together.

Relationships. Difficult, but worth it. The plan is that after these months you and I will grow together and understand each other…and live happily ever after….hahahh

I know you and I will get through this cause its not a big deal…just a bump in the road.

Man, I have a boyfriend.

Wow.