I wonder what your costume was this year ?

I feel so empty inside … my Austin …
At this time of night we would be going through your candy making sure it was all safe.  I would have pumpkin pie and warm and cold cider for you when you came home.  I would be hearing about all the fun things that happened and you would be so proud about all the candy you collected… sorting through it all and sharing some of it with me as we talked.

Last year was so long ago … If I knew then what I do now … I would have held you more, told you I loved you more, spent more time doing things together as mom and son. I worry about you everyday.  I know who you are inside.   I miss you so much. I dont know how to reach youuuuuuuuuuu…………….

There is nothing left for me anymore … everyone I love is gone… I have no future… Im just here … by myself … nobody to share my hopes and dreams with … nobody to share anything with … everyone is too busy with themselves… I dont matter… its all gone …