I only see you in my dreams … that isnt enough

I miss your face … I miss you sooooo much

 I havent given up on you and I will never EVER !  You are MY son and I will always be your mother ALWAYS … you are my heart.  Unfortunately, my heart is shattered and bruised by the events of the past 10 mos.

I had a dream about you (I acutally have frequent dreams of you…its the only time I can be with you … its like when I dream about your grandmother but the difference is she has departed this world and you chose not to be in my world. 

One day and I hope it is soon, I hope you will come back to be my son.  I love you so much.

Your question in my dream was "Mom are you going to be alright?"
Austin … I dont know if I will ever … so much pain … I feel so torn apart and lost …

I am sorry … I am sorry I was blinded by the hurt you felt.  I could not see it, you made it all seem like it was all ok.  I was so busy trying to start over and build a life for us.  I was overwhelmed with life and the changes that I had to live with, as I know you were also.

Thank you for your visit to my dreams … please come frequently and talk to me and hug me for I miss my little boy so much.  Life has lost its luster and brilliance without you in my world.

I love you more …..