Doing my thing

This weekend was nice. I spent most of it with a friend of mine.

Im really starting to hate that word.

Friend.

I dont feel I have any.

Why did my family raise me to feel that way. I know I have “friends” and a few who actually care about me.  jsut feel so dam distant. I cant stand feeling this way. Or maybe I can.. because I  really cant feel much. Just sometimes.. a little loneliness in my heart.

I do miss Georgia some days. The fresh air and affordable lifestyle. Though I know Im here in New york for a reason.. this reason that brought me back isnt forth coming. Patience is a virtue and that is one thing I can assuredly say I have.

How can you miss what was never yours or hate some one who never did anything to you?

How can you?

I just miss so many things. I know I am going forward with my life and for that I am grateful. I am being presented with opportunites that make me feel blessed. Thats about all I feel. I lack true joy or laughter.

Pictures are shadows that hold some color.

Vibrant, but dead…

forever.