confessions of the skin

I,..

Im doing so many things with out feel, disregard and most of all the highest of high disrespect.

I cant help things that I do but I help my self to it.

 dont think IM in love with this guy Im with right now. But we’re good friends and geniunely care about eachother.

Enter girl friend.

Whos friend I now am.

and I like her. Alot. Im over the whatever’s or problems I had with her sister. We’re all kool now and if things go cool I might  go away with them this summer. That would be nice.

But who dare I, look her in the eye and lie, and smile.. all the while knowing

Im kissing her boy friend enjoying his touch, caress that I’ve grown to love soo much.

Touching him, on a whim,..

mhmm sin.

what could I do but give in?

Well now now now,.. we all were hanging out today, and yesterday, but today its like a I really felt the guilt of what I did, because they asked me to spend the nite in their house and well, then today.. we went shopping. I mean there were small touches between me and him when we’d pass by,.. just coincidently. But I would feel such guilt from the most innocent thing.

Why am I doing this? Am I doing this or is this just happening?

Im not scared… but.. Im in between happy and wanting to cry.