Serpents

I cut last night. First time since november. Quite a while I guess, and only two cuts on the back of my hip, so not really anything too drastic. I don’t know if I regret it or not. rubbed against my coat like hell today, but other then that… I think I’ll survive. I can’t see myself cutting again any time in the near furture, so in a way I’m glad I got it over and done with. If I had waited much longer, I think I could have done more damage.

I feel ill talking about it like this, like it was inevitable, but I think it was… I don’t know. Maybe if I had waited a couple more days, then I would have lost the urge, but in the short term at least I do feel more comfortable with myself now.

Got in the car to come home from town an hour ago, but fingers are still fucking numb. Don’t think the heating’s on. Meh.

Loads of people have gone round to Josies house this weekend. Her parents are away. She invited everyone infront of me and pointedly left me out. I don’t know why, we’ve never really clicked or been especially close but recently we haven’t even had the small amount of civilness we used to. Infact, in the past few weeks I’ve actually been feeling like she really dislikes me. I don’t know if I’ve done anything to offend her. At the moment I can only assume she’s feeling the same way as Sophie, that I’ve changed… I guess I’ll have a word with her next time I see her, try and sort things out.

-x-