New Year Still Studying

Well. I just finished my bar studying. I’m exhausted. I have so much to study tomorrow. I still don’t feel like I’m doing enough. It’s so stressful.

Still gaining weight. I can’t control my hunger while I’m studying. It’s like I don’t get full, and like not being full is a distraction to studying. I signed up for 3 months of Noom. So far they’re just having me track my calories and take stupid quizzes about which foods are better to consume and which ones keep you full longer. Reviews for Noom are good sooooo hopefully it’ll pick up. Cuzzzzz reading that I ate 2000 calories just makes me sad and I always track my calories anyway.

My twin called me the other day. She planned a full twin-date for the two of us, which we haven’t done in over a year. It was fun. We went out to a bunch of different places and just laughed and talked. Her boyfriend crashed our twin-date, but with a boyfriend like that, I expected it. At least he stayed out of the way and let us do our thing and took pictures of us whenever we asked him to. Her and I are back to talking everyday like we used to. Her twin-date was a kinda apology that she knew I would get without it being weird for anyone else. There wasn’t really a need for an apology I just wanted more contact.

I started watching Headspace on netflix. I’ve never really meditated before and I feel like it’s giving me a lot of clarity and helping me release my stress and feel happier throughout the day. My husband is extremely supportive but because I’m not with all my law friends who are either on the struggle bus with me or concurred the bus in July, I feel a little lonely. Like, the people who understand what I’m going through are far away and the ones around me are just cheerleaders and that doesn’t help as much. I told my husband I need more support so he did a bunch of housework for me today so I would have fewer things to stress about. And he poured me a very big glass of wine, and he made me food.

I feel a little bad because I got annoyed with him today. He talks to me about his engineering stuff all the time, and even though I don’t understand any of it and I really really don’t care at all, I still listen and try to understand and ask questions (he said he loves when I ask him questions about it). Well today I had two practice MPT questions, and when I finished them, I was telling my husband that one of the laws in the MPT defined arson as something that one can’t do to his own property and I totally missed it (MPT is in a fictional state that borrows laws or makes up its own or changes court rulings that we then have to synthesize into an argument), and my husband clearly wasn’t listening and clearly didn’t care and wasn’t even pretending to care. It annoyed me. Even though I knew he didn’t care and it’s not really his fault for not caring. I just wish I had some law friends over here who I could complain to and who understand the struggle.

Hope y’alls New Year is going well,

TomorrowIsGoingToBeMoreStressfulThanTodaySomeoneSaveMe