money money money

college…oy vey. i need to pay about $1400 out of my pocket each year…my EFC is about $800. Financial Aid will give me about $1600. my own contribution should be around $600. but i know my mom isnt going to pay a single dime so my contribution turns into a full $1400. it not that she doesnt want to pay for it its just that she says she cant. we’ve talked and yea…its not going to happen.

and then there’s the scholarship problem. why havent i gotten any? i guess all i can do is keep trying.

i got accept to TCU the other day. i kinda really wanna go. but with tuition being far more at a private school there is just no way i can afford it. one day though. i hope to transfer there err something.

i hope this whole college thing works out. i just dont want to end up struggling more over money than over grades. i hope i get to live out a normal college career rather than go through what i’ve had to in middle and high school.

i wish i could win the lottery. things would be more simple then. but of course who doesnt want to win it. oh poo.

i want money. i need money. where’s it. and how come its so easy for some people to get jobs? and for me its like a thing that never happens. been looking since last summer and nothing. but then there are kids that are just so dumb and they get the jobs i want. i guess it is more of a popularity/fashion contest. i just want a job.

i want me and sherman to move to the west side of town. i want us to be ok in a nice apartment. i want to have clothes…i havent shopped really for clothes in like two years. i want new shoes. i want games for my psp. i’ve been wanting to cut my troublesome hair. and dye it too. i want to go to shows. i want to have luxuries. i want a cell phone.

i’ve become so jealous of people having everything. kids here get all their things from their parents. during a presentation at school about budgeting a girl sat next to me with a doonie and burke bag, a&f attire, glamourous heels, an array of jewelery, a krzr phone, versace sunglasses, and a pink ipod.

yes i did check her out up and down. the speaker asked her specifically, “How often do you go out shopping?” she replied, “Everyother day”. speaker asks, “And how much do you usually spend?” girl says, “I have no idea. my parents and my boyfriend pay for it.” speaker asks again, “Well then do you think they usually spend about $200 on your shopping trips?” she replies shocked, “Hell no! I wouldnt go if thats all they would spend.” i’m jealous. this girl barely EVER attends school. i’m sure her grades are a piece of shit. oh well. bad things happen to good people i guess. but its so annoying. and it sux seeing this kind of person everyday.

money. sweet sweet money. i dont want it to be greedy i just want it to be ok.