no place like home

things are crazy at home rightnow. i cant seem to put a finger on why i keep getting in trouble. and its like no matter what i do to please those in authority i end up screwing up in the end. whats wrong with this people?!

i had some things to talk about with sherman. i want to move out of my house. its just too much now for me to bare. i seriously dont seem to to do anything right in her eyes. and she accuses me of so much. she’s even said it herself that i should just leave and have someone else care for me. now i’ve come to realize that there is someone else out there that actually wants to care for me and have me around…ta da! its sherman. he’s been doing so much for me and i keep him from so much just cuz mother sez so. i feel guilty all the time trying to please both people becauz i either hurt the other or just get into trouble. this isnt cool.

also its not like she’s doin much for me these days anyways. granted it is a place to stay and she pays for utilities and stuff but still. how can you hold that against your own daughter? i asked for “feminine napkins” (jaja) and she replied “oh i have no money”. i havent seen a razor in three months and everytime i ask…”oh i have no money”. i babysit my niece for an entire day because supposively no else can and i call my mom for some help and she says “oh i’m at olive garden”. i get home one day and find loads of whataburger on the table (emptied already of course). i find her puppie playing with new dog toys almost everyday. c’mon. you dont have money for pads or a razor but at least poor lil nacho got his toys.

all hail the great chihuahua!

i’ve waited and talked to her about this many times. i’ve waited for things to get better but instead for every tiny thing i do i get slapped with an earlier curfew. i have to be home at ten on a SATURDAY?! exactly!

i guess i’ll party on saturday with this handsome devil…

so i think honestly i would probably be happier with sherman since he actually wants me there. the only thing is that i hope things will remain smooth even with us being aroudn eachother for so long. but then again we’re always dying when we’re apart. ok ok. i’m really hoping that he could put up with me and me with him. cuz i know we both can tend to get pretty lazy but i spose we could work on keeping eachother on track y’kno? i dont know i just want everything to be ok cuz i’m really hurting to leave home. i just cant take it anymore.

oh oh! one more thing. what about my cat pepper? the apartments sherman lives in dont allow any pets besides like fish err something. but i cant leave pepper with my mom becuz i know for sure she’ll have my precious pepper put to sleep. and to risk having her at sherman’s apartment means risking a $100 fine. oh what to do?

really really i want to go. i dont know why i’m so worried. but alas i think i just want to wait for sherman to get a job and his car and for me to just get rid of all these doubts and find some way to keep my cat……

i love my sherman.

*by the way a friend asked me today if i expected to spend the rest of my life with sherman and before even thinking about it i said…YESS!—then the bell rang.