a senior afterall

i’ve come to a point in my scholastic career where i find myself reflecting on all the years i’ve spent in the lesser world of education.

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Thinking back on everything day in and day out i find that its been an experience that is considered by the majority an incredibly hard and difficult process. Somehow i’ve been able to keep up but i cant explain why. anyone put in my situation would have been lost and confused and held back. why is it that i’ve taken in things that i havent even been taught. i know ive lost many opportunities and there are holes in my intellectual thought yet i do have the ability to surpass almost my entire class.

thinking on this now i realize that i may have been an inconceivably talented student. becoming the head of my class or a district would have been nothing for me. everything would have been at my finger tips.

i know i could have had everything. but why have i been held back? i do believe there is a higher power and for the better things will go a certain why. but how does this benefit me? i’ve been reduced over the years to be a regular student. i’ve been forced to lose track of my standing and lose everything i could have achieved. i feel like i’m graduating with an incomplete head.

this is what dwells in my mind for the majority of my days (well there’s sherman too). i want so hard to get over it and move on but it always comes back. i could have had and known so much more and i dont understand why i’ve been shrunk down to being mediocre. i figure this is why lately i dont feel so well about anything. since i’m almost graduating i guess i’m thinking about it more and more. i mean college is right around the corner and my options have honestly become evermore limited with each and every passing year- every move every middle school, high school, and elementary school.

i know one thing is for sure. i’m happy when i’m around sherman. i feel like i’m not missing so much. like everything will be ok. i really hope everything goes fine. i suppose i can say that he is my last hope.