Holidaze… 8 days since my last Entry

Well I was hoping that I would write more but yeah didn’t happen. Words just are not flowing like they used to I guess. When I was in my early 20’s it was easy to just sit and write. Pour out all of the things that were in my head. Talk about all my demons as if they were real things that could actually harm me. When in truth my “Demons” were just manifestations of my internal struggles with being stupid. I could write about pain and loss, self mutilation and harm ETC.  I could vomit forth so much and yet almost none of it was ever Real. I could make it seem as if I was in the worst pain imaginable while either showing the world a mask of normalcy or nothing at all and completely shutting down.

I still have 1 or  2 of them. They don’t age well. I was the most normal looking Emo Kid ever should you read those words. 25 or so years later and I have become that Ultra Boring person. House, 2 cars, 2 kids, 4 cats, and a Dog. How my wife and I got here after starting out as Man and Mistress is beyond me. All I know is that when I met her I knew. From the start till now she and I have been in each others life for 23 years. Maybe 24. We just hit 17 years of Marriage as well. Time flies and I would not wish to change any of it. She is my light, and without her our sons would not be around either. As much as my almost 18yr old annoys me I can’t help but smile as I type this and watch him playing Assassins Creed Valhalla.

If I write more you are going to notice that I babble a lot. The thing is that is what this is for. My Babbling, I am not here for click bait or to have things be read over and over ETC. I am just here to put things down and out of my head. Perhaps my Demons are not as far away as I would like but they are still quiet and leaving me alone.

I think that;s enough for now. Maybe I will be back in the Morning.

Hope everyone had a great holiday.