News

Good news.  I can retake the written driver’s test in Ohio as early as today.  Yes, I was given a book; however, when I tested yesterday every time I got an answer wrong it gave me the right answer so I now know the answers.

Second good news.  I forgot that I got a flex spending account through my insurance.  What does this mean?  It means that they sent me a credit card that can only be used for medical expenses with $2,500 (the max allowed in the U.S.) on it.  So, my visit on Thursday for the biopsy is $250, the surgery on Friday is $3,200 before insurance.  I just looked and found that insurance pays 80% after my deductible, My deductible is $1000, I will owe $650 IF the $1000 doesn’t count, if it does I won’t owe the $650, but I don’t think the $1000 counts,  So it will cost me about $2000, but I have that on this credit card they sent me, so I am actually okay for the biopsy and surgery.  I just won’t have any money in my flex account for any other emergencies.  I will have to set the money aside.

I am SUPER anemic.  Even with IV iron the doctors cannot get my blood levels where I am not anemic.  On a normal CBC the scale is 4-12 normal range is 9.  Mine is less than a 4 almost every time they check it.  The red blood cells carry oxygen to the organs in your body.  Without oxygen the organs slowly die.  Like a fish outside of water.  My organs have been dying for a long time, and until last year everyone always said I was anemic, but no one really found out why.  They thought I was iron deficient anemic, until testing finally showed that my body is not building or storing red blood cells.  In any case, in 2011 I had my gall bladder removed.  They said it was odd, all my blood tests were normal, but my gall bladder was angry and they have never seen that before.  Early 2012 a doctor said I had all the symptoms of Amyloidosis.  A rare form of Lukemia.  They did two biopsy’s.  Both came out abnormal, but neither was specific as to whether I had Amyloidosis or not, so the doctor’s left it at I had a rare form of Lukemia without a name.  

I was seeing a cardiologist, oncologyst, neurologist, and a family doctor.  I finally got overwhelmed and stopped going.  In the meantime I feel more and more exhausted.  I try harder to do more everyday, but seems like my days are just getting cut shorter and shorter by sleep. 

Recently I did research on cycles (periods), because I know that your cycle can cause you to be anemic.  I never thought anything was abnormal.  My cycles starts on the 30th one month, then the 28th the next the 26th the next.  It was regular.  What I realized was not regular was my flow.  I never thought this was a problem.  It always just "was"  I had five children.  I have discussed these things with OB/GYNs, just never got technical.  This has always been something private to me.  Well… just to appease myself, and because I am a major researcher on the internet I looked up "normal cycle"  I read a normal cycle you should use 9-18 tampons over a course of 4-7 days.  REALLY?  This is a shock to me.  I use 32 SUPER SIZE tampons that are full in one day.  I have to by three to four boxes of 32 plus size tampons each period.  It has always been this way for me.  How was I suppose to know this was abnormal.  I never talk to anyone about periods.  I don’t compare with friends, etc. etc.  So, as soon as I got insurance through Cabela’s I contacted an OB/GYN.  Guess what?  He doesn’t want to wait.  He wants to do this biopsy, but even before getting news back wants to do an Oblation, or Hysterectomy.  He prefers going with the Oblation first, because it will prevent me from taking hormones.  He did an ultrasound today and said that my uterus wall is thicker than anyone’s he has ever seen and doesn’t know how I function.  He says most people would be curled over in a ball complaining of pain.  

I have a high tolerance for pain, or maybe my nerves are not effected the way others are.  I don’t know.  Again, this is all I have ever known.  My side has been killing me since he told me this.  Psychosymatic much?  

I have been told enough bad news, and I don’t care if they pick away at me one piece at a time if it saves my life.  Am I ready to go to heaven?  Well… I love God, and I want to see him, but I really need to get down on my hands and knees. 

So, this didn’t turn out to be the entry you expected.  I never thought I would be writing about this of all things, but after a month of thinking about it, well… I just needed to put it in my diary.