homeless : without a home

Today is feeling a lot like death.
I keep forgetting all the important things.
Or well forgetting that they aren’t actually important.
And I destroyed myself last night.
I need to expel these things from my body.
But the action is so violent and painful.
My guts are churning.
I try to numb the feeling but it leaves me dizzy.
Again the nausea.
Rinse, Wash, Repeat.
Somedays I don’t want to drink anymore.
I have slowed down quite a bit.
Aside from that half a bottle or so of whiskey last night.
I am hungry but I can not feed me.
Oh fuck it again.
People people people.
Hi there. Let’s go jump off a bridge.
I’ve got to let it out, despite the pain.
Evil cancer growing inside me.
I knew. She knew.
Hush now, don’t tell me.
So sick with the people.
Don’t tell me.
No no. Please don’t tell me where you go.
Home is somewhere did I leave it?
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
Yeah.
I never found the boy who wants to lay inthe grass with me.
High high standards.
Flying down. Let’s jump off the bridge.
I used to be epic.
I used to be.
Who were you yesterday?
That’s who I want to meet.