More Charlie Sheen FACTS

26. Every great movement begins with one man and that one man is Charlie Sheen.

27. Charlie Sheen prefers privacy when flying around the world, especially when two smokin’ hotties are involved.

28. The only thing that has ever tired out Charlie Sheen is pretending that his life isn’t perfect.

29. Contaminated little maggots are physically and mentally incapable of handling the power of Charlie Sheen.

30. Charlie Sheen’s passion is often mistaken for anger.

31. There are parts of Charlie Sheen which are simultaneously Dennis Hopper for no apparent reason.

32. Charlie Sheen hates everyone who is not in his family because they are obviously out to destroy his family.

33. Charlie Sheen has deliberately exposed people to magic, and isn’t ashamed to admit it.

34. The best way to enjoy watching Charlie Sheen win inside of every moment is to find the most comfortable chair in your small house to enjoy the show.

35. When he’s not winning, Charlie Sheen often unwinds by riding a tsunami of media on his mercury surfboard.

36. Charlie Sheen signs all the checks on the front, not the back.

37. Children everywhere are in awe of Charlie Sheen’s wisdom and his bitchin’-ness.

38. The Rules of Charlie Sheen’s noble estate are simple: No panicking, no judgments, no dying, and chocolate milk for all.

39. When Charlie Sheen wins, he does so in his underwear. That’s just how he rolls.

40. Charlie Sheen has a plan. And the plan involves the systematic slaughter of those who choose not to follow his plan.

41. Charlie Sheen has been known to fight retarded zombies and trolls before the sun even comes out.

42. Charlie Sheen is proficient in the knowledge of geomagnetism.

43. Charlie Sheen is literate in hieroglyphics, and excels in particular at reading them from behind.

44. The only "questing" Charlie Sheen has ever done involves claiming absolute victory on every front.

45. Charlie Sheen has one speed, one gear — GO!

46. Charlie Sheen once banged 7-gram rocks that just happened to be there and actually finished them on the first attempt. That is just how he rolls.

47. Charlie Sheen isn’t bi-polar, he’s bi-winning.

48. Charlie Sheen is an expert at life. He leaves the dying to the amateurs.

49. Charlie Sheen fights women who stow shrimp forks in their purses on a regular basis.

50. Charlie Sheen dares you to keep up with him.

HDS.