Attention All Atheists!!!

Atheists, would you believe in GOD if praying to him granted you magic powers?
I know that made a big difference for me. Praying to the GOD of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob didn’t do crap for my life. I was still getting kicked around by bullies, cops, IRS agents, bosses, and generally larger people. But once I dumped GOD for Kord, the god of warfare and strength, the tables have turned. Those cops don’t think they are so hot when I unleash a level 3 FLAME STRIKE at their cop cars. Actually, they run for the hills and cry like little children. Same thing goes for my boss. He thought he was the sh*t until I Summoned Nature’s Ally and he got set upon by a pack of rabid chipmunks. He won’t bother asking me for a cover sheet on my TPS reports again, after he gets out of intensive care.

And you can forget about that mugger who assaulted me the other day. He thought a stab wound would get him my cash, but he was wrong. One Cure Light Wounds and a Call Lightning later, and he was nothing more than a grease stain on the side walk. Jesus didn’t need to save me when Kord’s justice could do the job for only 15 MP.

So what say you, atheists? Are you ready to ditch your atheism and declare you allegiance to a REAL God with bonafide power to back up his claims of omnipotence? Or are you going to whine and sulk like those pitiful Athar hiding under the Spire?