All my financial troubles are over!!!

Good evening, friends. I am happy to report that my financial troubles are soon to be over, thanks to this e-mail I received from one who claims to be a VERY dignified businessman with a whole load of da hook up for yours truly. Behold:

Date:
Fri, 20 Jan 2006 02:24:30 -0400

From:
"Dr.Kabe Johnson" <##########> add to address bookAdd to Address Book

To:
"His Divine Shadow" <hisdivineshadows@yahoo.com>

Subject:
From Dr.Kabe.

From:Dr.Kabe Johnson.
Zulberg Close off
Ernest Oppenheimer
Road Bruma Lake,
Johannesburg,2196
South Africa.

My name is Dr.Kabe Johnson,and I work in the International operation department in a Local Bank here in South Africa On a routine inspection I discovered a dormant domiciliary account with a BAL.Of 36,000,000 (Thirty Six Million USD) on further discreet investigation, I also discovered that the account holder has long since passed away (dead) leaving no beneficiary to the account.

The bank will approve this money to any foreigner because the former operator of the a/c is a foreigner in particular and I am certainly sure that he is dead,because the the death was recorded by department of home affair and nobody will come again for the claim of this money A foreigner can only claim this money with legal claims to the account Holder; therefore I need your cooperation in this transaction.

I will provide the necessary information needed in order to claim this money, But you will need to open an account or provid existing account information where this can be transferred.

If interested send your private Telephone No. And Fax number including full details of the account to be used for the Deposit I wish for utmost confidentiality in handling this transaction as my job and the future of my family would be jeopardized if it were breached.

Bank Name:………….
Bank Address:……….
A/C Number:………..
A/C Name:…………
Swift Code:………

I want to assure you that the transaction is without risk if due process is followed accordingly. Finally, I will give you 25% for your corporation. I look forward to a favorable response from you through this my private email if you are intrested to do this business with me or you should reply with all the further details.

Yours faithfully,

Dr.Kabe Johnson.

There you have it. Once this business deal goes through I will be rolling in dough. For all of those of you who have had the privilege of fighting me, KISS MY ASS, LOSERS!!! HA! To the rest of you, I won’t forget you when I make it big.

I promise

-His Wealthy Shadow

Log in to write a note
January 21, 2006

ooo … i’m surprised he’s not from Uganda.

Oh my god dont fall for it. Its all a scam! I lost money with a nigerian oil company – read through the posts on this site because it mentions the same letter you got. comapny.http://www.oilcareers.com/content/community/board/view.asp?mode=viewtopic&topicID=996 She still isnt talking to me.

the site made me think of you becuase there were so many irritating people ragging on the poor people whove been scammed byt these people. ok so nice to let us know its ascam, i wish i’d known before but why abuse us for asking advice?

January 21, 2006

LMAO my ex had the same emails. He played along to take the piss, got a few giggles from it anyways. Donna –

January 21, 2006

If I can ever find one of these buggers, and resist breaking their neck immediately, I’ll make them kiss my asps. And I mean asps. As many as I can throw down into the pit with them. Hundreds. And that is letting them off easy.

January 21, 2006

If it were only that easy…

January 21, 2006

Damn. Give me some of that.

January 21, 2006

Dude… I got like 3 letters like this a few months back from some guy claiming to be the attorney for an old family member who had died with all his immediate family in a plane crash. they said my family was the beneficiaries of his estate and if we send him all our personal info, we’ll be rich bitches… I was tempted for about 3 seconds, and then the improbability of it all hit me.

January 21, 2006

plus… I figured if they really wanted to get in touch with me… they could figure out my phone number and call my ass like a normal person in that situation would.

January 21, 2006

a. that bastard! he emailed me, too! I refuse to split the money with you, HDS. x. if I left you a nasty note, it was probably because now that I’m in a relationship that I’m actually IN, rather than avoiding, I don’t appreciate comments wherein you express your desires to do things to my ass. I used to appreciate them, no more do I. I do miss you, though. I didn’t block you from AIM,

January 21, 2006

you just never show up, thhbbpppttt =P.

Dude, mushroom is still bothering you? LOL LOL. I have never seen an email quite like that. I wonder if anyone has been stupid enough to fall for it.

January 21, 2006

^ wow, my girl’s scary ex is bothering you, I so sorry. As for your graces, I never really gave a shit. I blocked quite a few people who wouldn’t get the picture and stop sex-noting me like they used to – you were one of them, but only on OD. I just kept hoping people would stop, and you didn’t seem to be catching on. I figured, maybe, after like a year, you might be capable…mebbe not?

January 21, 2006

I never didn’t like you, I guess I just tired of your come-ons and your whining “you never call me you’re never here you never note me you never update” etc etc etc… So I miss your sense of humor, maybe I shouldn’t have let that get me back over here 😉

January 21, 2006

You couldn’t possibly make me feel umcomfortable; I got tired of my girl reading countless notes from people who couldn’t get used to the fact that I refused to talk dirty to them anymore, I got tired of her pain and her hurt and her anger – not of you, per se. I don’t get offended, nothing bothers me, and I’ve never taken one ounce of OD seriously, but her feelings matter to me more than

January 21, 2006

anyone on the planet’s. Didn’t realize my ignoring you bothered you at all, let alone enough to even consider “burning me for it”. Poor punkin.

I was invited to note here. But whatever.

January 21, 2006

^ Fascinating, Christine, but as HDS is intelligent (if fluffily weird and fuzzily crude), he’ll soon acknowledge what a moronic drain you are. Enjoy 🙂

January 22, 2006

dude, your ‘posse’ is so brave leaving me notes from private diaries. “Never get in a fist fight with someone who like pain.”

January 22, 2006

oh no. I forgot the ‘s’ in like. Now you can leave 25 notes laughing about another typo. A life. Find one.

Here’s ShadowKat, begging to polish your knob again!

January 23, 2006

Do ya always have to have the last note? “Stalking” no. Kicking your dumb ass? LOL.

January 23, 2006

A. It doesn’t matter that I knew you were playing around with me, and I with you – my girl didn’t like it, you wouldn’t stop it – I like her more than you & that’s that. x. I never ‘bashed’ you, dummy. I just got fed up and blocked you. I never said a mean word about you anywhere. 5. Meh

January 23, 2006

That one has much better grammar than most. I’m utterly stunned by that fact. It’s just not right.

January 23, 2006

Also, by the by, you’re way too smart and funny to waste time on Christine (InRapture)…you’ll realize soon, though. Her writing sucks, she’s not funny, she can’t spell for shit, and she’s straight ugly. No redeeming qualities whatsoever. I want to mail her my poop.

January 23, 2006

http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D575467&entry=10171&mode=date ^ That’s what she does to me and mine. It’s od-drama, in any case, and you looooove that, eh, Chris?

LMAO!

January 23, 2006

LOL, what is up with south africa getting the blame for all the ‘bad stuff’ first it was the russians, then the chinese now south african! Tsk tsk..PS anybody here wanna invest in my diamond mine I’m from south africa? LOL

January 23, 2006

well then….

January 24, 2006

Classic…I want in. 😉

Hey! I got something similar to that! LOL, I left it in my spam.

January 24, 2006

See, this isnt fair he offered me less!

February 5, 2006

See all you need now is to make a tip jar like the DiaryMaster did and offer some His Divine Shadow trinkets for the highest donation. I think you’d make a pretty buck on this idea.

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDDATE!

February 9, 2006

Why would anyone with 36 mil put their money into an African account? Dun’t they know Zurich or the Caymans is the place to go.

Time for the Second Coming of HDS, damnit.

Dude, where are you?

Ryn: Can’t wait.

February 21, 2006

Hello, my name is Twirly McSwankypants. I will pay you five jillion dollars to eat this *wiggles bottom* How’s it going, stranger? Love

March 1, 2006

RYN: Did she have red curls and a gypsy guitar? I think not :o)

March 2, 2006

After finally realizing that you’re the smartest SOB on the planet, I do apologize for ever knocking you. Don’t understand? Read Mychemicalromance1982’s current note from Lady Douchebag.

August 17, 2006

oh I wish I would get an email or three like that. Or that I’d win a few prize draws. I know they’re real because they include testimonies from the likes of Mrs. Griffin from Pontypandy, and Mr. Godfrey from Scunthorpe, and they both look very happy with their new cottages and solar calculators. Now, just let me find my credit card.