I am about to become dirty stinking rich. Want in?

That’s right, you sorry bastards. The reason I have been gone so long is because I have decided to stop bullshitting around and start my own business. At first I thought it would be harder than Michael Jackson’s cock at a preschool, but then I tumbled to the dark of a great way to make money, and I didn’t even have to work that hard either.

The idea behind this is simple. I know I am going to become rich because there is a new business that is going to explode any day now in this country (and I don’t mean 9/11 style either). The truth is that a new company called His Divine Marketing Corporation is about to make it big, and it is going to happen whether or not you or I are involved. But since the success of this new business opportunity is assured, why not get in on the action?

Are you sick of working paycheck to paycheck, not sure if you are ever going to see the end of the tunnel? Or are you willing to take a chance on owning your own business and retire in FIVE YEARS OR LESS? All it will take is a little work and a lot of ambition. If on a scale of 1 to 10, you rate yourself as a 10 for enthusiasm, you are ready to be part of the next big thing.

Say goodbye to the day to day grind at the office and hello to financial freedom and prosperity that only a Multi-Level-Marketing business model can provide for you and your family. Feel free not to take my word for it, but lots of people are benefiting from this new paradigm and you don’t want to miss out!

"I am getting more action than I ever did before I became a member of the His Divine Marketing Corporation."
–Some Boring Loser

"Thank you, His Divine Marketing Corporation, for putting me on the fast track to long life and prosperity."
–A gullible asshole

"His Divine Marketing Corporation is a pure genius when it comes to the bottom line. I can never thank him enough."
–Clueless Sod

"I made $25,000 just for showing up drunk! His Divine Marketing Corporation rules!"
–Some Drunk D00d

The best part of this turnkey system is how it can turn an otherwise inconspicuous need into a booming business. You don’t need a college degree and you certainly don’t need any past experience. Hundreds of people are taking advantage of this opportunity, many of whom haven’t even finished college yet. Some barely speak English or aren’t capable of anything more than basic math skills. But they are making it big and so can you, right from your very own home. If you have a car, a computer, and the right mindset, you can make your dream of financial independence come true with this new home-based-business and you can do this WORKING PART TIME!

With this new revolutionary business opportunity, you too can go on the vacations you’ve always wanted, spend more time with your family, and always have more money to spare. You do NOT need to worry about selling real estate or the huge risks involved in franchising. If you are worried that this involves direct selling or anything lame like that, don’t worry, I wouldn’t try to scam you into buying into bullshit like that. That would be unethical.

 YES, I want in on His Divine Shadow’s Breakthrough Business!* 

 No thanks, I’d rather be a loser for the rest of my days. 

Basically it works like this. Just as in any investment, it requires a small financial investment on your part, but once you see what can come of it, you will be glad you did. All I require is 5 minutes of your time. Once you’ve signed up and forked over $25 of your hard earned money, I plan on sticking my dick in your ass. That’s right. Nothing more than a good ol’ fudge packing. It may sound harsh at first, but there is a way to leverage this initial outlay into financial success. All you need to do is find other people to share this business opportunity with. That way, you get your own piece of ass. If you manage to recruit more people, I might spare you the ass fucking and go after them instead. Hell, after I am done, we can take turns and split the cash you collect from the dumb son-of-a-bitches who really thought they could actually make a lot of money in a Multi-Level-Marketing "business opportunity". Well, except for you, of course. 😉

If you ever need a hand in making the money of your dreams, be sure to give me, Morey Smerling, a call. I can’t always return my calls because business is so huge, but I do have a wide variety of seminars and motivational tapes that are guaranteed to get you on the fast track and out of the rat race.

Your pal and business partner,

-His Divine Shadow

P.S. If you find this business opportunity too good to not share with others who you feel may benefit as well, make a list of 30 people you know and love and send it, along with phone numbers to HisDivineShadows@yahoo.com. They will never stop thanking you for giving them the gift of true financial freedom and wealth.

None of the claims in this website are actual guarantees. The thing I will guarantee you for joining is a sore asshole.

*Clicking this link automatically obligates you to pay me $5 just because. If you want to recover your loss, ask me about my link-trading subsidiary business.