Well…I was honest with her for once

Happy Father’s Day to all the dad’s out there!

So today was pretty eventful but still a little boring.

I don’t know I feel like I’m always on auto-pilot or something. Just kind of moving through life a day at a time. I always get like this when I’m home. I get stuck in a rut and can’t really do much about it.

But, whatever, I few more months of this and I’ll be home….well school but whatever.

I’m not sure how much I’ve written about in a while but here is a bit of an update.

I talked to Alex for 5 hours one night. It was nice talking to him again. Since then we kind of talk here and there. Mostly its just when one of us needs someone to talk to. Nothing really big. Sometimes I don’t answer for a while and vice-versa. It was nice talking to him on the phone though for those few hours. We had some really sweet moments…some funny moments….some kinda sad moments…..it was just nice to talk to him again. He’s pretty much my best friend.

Today my mom asked about him and I finally told her I talked to him and that we’re cool now. Of course she doesn’t believe me but she never does. Whatever, I shut her up and basically told her she doesn’t have to believe me…she asked what was going on and she can take it or leave it. But then she insinuated that Alex was lying. No. He wasn’t. Alex doesn’t lie to me about stuff like that nor does he have a reason to. She knows nothing about him or the situation and has no place making completely false assumptions like that. Its one thing to suggest it and its another thing completely to accuse. But, thats besides the point..

I almost told her I signed up for ROTC and am probably going into the Army.

I backed out because I didn’t want to ruin Father’s Day for everyone and since we were visiting family and stuff today…I just felt it was the best decision on my part to hold off a little longer. 

I’m just not sure when, or how, to tell her. Does anyone have any advice on how to break it to her. My mom is a mean controlling bitch. I mean the hell she raised when I told her I was going away to college…..she made my life a living hell for over a year…..so imagine how it’ll be when I tell her I’m joining the army? So if anyone has any advice or anything like that…I would really really appreciate it. I’m not so worried about my dad. He was in the Ecuadorian army and supports the army lifestyle and what it does for you as a person. But, also, even if he didn’t agree with it…he would just accept it and not give me that much of a hard time with it…Its mostly my mom I’m worried about.

Daniel and I are doing well for the most part. I still feel like I pressured him into this but it’s whatever. Daniel is a big boy and does what he wants. If he really didn’t want this he wouldn’t have went for it. So, now he’s stuck with me until he either doesn’t want me or if things just don’t work out for whatever reason…I hope they do but we’ll see…..I’m not looking into the future much. I did that with Alex and it didn’t work out that great so I’m just letting bygones be bygones and seeing where we end up. I like him a lot. Part of me is falling hard for him. Its kind of a puppy love of the first few months together. Its weird…I’m used to the intense feeling…the knowledge that yes..I’m spending my life with you….going back to square one is just an odd feeling…

I’m really worried about ROTC. Don’t think I can do it but I’m gunna try my hardest anyway. 

And yea…thats pretty much my life now.

Oh and I’m working at my dad’s place. I work in a different dept than my dad so I never see him but its cuz of him I even have the job. I love it there and I’m excelling. I went from manual moving boxes and files to calling clients and making apointments for the assistant director..not bad for 4 weeks 🙂

anyway that all for now. 

Write more soon

Oh and thanks for the notes. I’ll try and get back to you all eventually.

*Sandra*