A lot happened….whoa

Alex and I talked two nights ago. On the phone. We talked about everything that happened. He thought I left him for Daniel and that Daniel left his girlfriend for me. Which isn’t true or else we would’ve been together from the start. We left because we felt we had to. Then Alex felt better and I felt better  and we talked for an hour and a half catching up on each others lives. He found a girl that he is head over heels for and was telling me about her. I didn’t get upset. It doesn’t bother me.

Once everything was ok between us….I knew I moved on. 

What was holding me back was the fact that there was no real closure. But now…that he’s not mad at me and we can talk and maybe one day be friends again…I can move on. No regrets. No looking back. I don’t love him anymore. Now he is just a really good friend who a care about. I told him I was still here if he ever needed me. And he told me the same. So, we’re good. We just don’t want to be in each other’s lives yet. We’re still healing a little inside. It was really nice talking to him though..like old times. He knows more about me than anyone…well except Daniel. But yea…I’ve moved on for good this time. 

That same night Daniel and I talked. I was IMing him and one of my other friends at the same time. I was venting to one of my friends about Daniel because..well she asked. So I was like I don’t know if we’re together…I’m confused blah blah blah…you know basically whats in my last entry….anyway that gets sent to Daniel cuz I’m stupid and don’t know how to IM two people at a time. So he gets the hint that I’m frustrated and confused as fuck…so we talk for a while and he comes to the conclusion that he is going to ask me out.

Yea..he officially asked me out. I was kind of shocked…

I didn’t answer right away because I wanted to think about it first. Then yesterday morning I thought about it a lot. I wanted to make sure that he was doing this because HE wanted to. Because he genuinely wants to be with me officially. Not to not confuse me.

I’m still don’t really know for sure if he really wanted to do this.

If he doesn’t willingly want to be with me then I’d rather have him say that than ask me out anyway to not confuse me. But, if he had said that then the sex would’ve had to stop. But I don’t know I hope it is because he genuinely wants to be with me and I hope he’s happy with his decision. 

So last night as we were talking about this before I answered I was asking him like are you sure? we could wait..are you doing this because you want to then at one point he was like "but as of right now, I want to ask you if you would go out with me." and I was like uhh…wait I still want to make sure..and he was like no more questions….the offer is on the table…its your choice..

So I took a leap and I said yes. I made a decision. 

Daniel and I are officially together. As of yesterday May 24th, 2012 at 11pm. 

I’m nervous and scared and I don’t know if he’s happy about it. I hope he is..

I know I am. I’m going to be the best girlfriend I can be.

Anyway I’m off to work I’ll write more later…leave notes with questions or thoughts and comments…

see ya

*Sandra*