Only at night though

*sigh* once again I feel sad and lonely..

This only happens at night when I am just laying in bed and allowed to think.

Why can’t I just turn off my brain. Or even better why can’t I just focus on the amazing guy I have in front of me instead of reliving memories of the guy who basically left me.

I want to kick myself in the face…like I really do. 

Why can’t I just get over this and just be happy.

I am so tired of being upset all the time. I just want to be happy. And, honestly, I just want to know if I made the right decision. What if leaving Alex wasn’t the right decision. I mean…what if I just fucked up..

I want to cry

I need someone here with me to hold me

Nevermind 

I am crying

ugh goodnight

 *Sandra*