i couldnt find the scissors

hey there boys, girls, and those with a little of both. i am remarkably sorry i havent shown any signs of life as of late, but due to football, i havent had much use of my left hand (that’s for another story after my post-season checkup)

so two weeks ago was homecoming. the epic battle of east vs. west, suns vs. spartans. it was a memorable clash for all envolved. our final score 14-12 west. we lost our last homecoming game we will ever play. the culmination of our high school carrers, the last chance to go to the playoffs once more, and we lost by 2. when it ended, there was not a man on our team that wasnt in tears. the juniors because they lost the homecoming game after such hard work. the seniors because it was the beginning of the end. for my brothers and i, there is no next season. we have no more chances for greatness. our time is done. …my god, my hands are shaking… i went to nearly every senior on the team, hugged him as close as i could, and told him i loved him. call it what you want, but i fought, bled, and damn near died for and with these men for the last six years of my life. you dont go through that and not love your brothers. you might think it’s odd of me to do that, but every last man hugged back just as hard. there are men on that team i would not have hesitated to beat into a bloody mass two years ago that i will miss for the rest of my life. i couldnt even cut the tape off my ankles untill i got home. i was crying so hard i couldnt find the scissors. on my way up from the locker room, coach lew came past, and i said one thing i’ve never said to him before. “im sorry coach, im so sorry” yeah, i hugged him too.

this past friday was senior night. we played slinger. we won 14-0. i didnt play the last few drives, because there were men that waited their entire 4 years to do what i took for granted, and they deserved their dues. when that clock hit zero, there was no way i could describe my feeling. a few days to think about it, and i finally put a word to it: Pride. now i know. i know the greatest feeling in the world. after the game on the field, i looked at my brothers, my fathers, and the men who will be in the same spot as me next year. we all stood a little bit taller that day. we had won the last home game of our lives.

and if i may say a word to any young ones who will one day be in my shoes: your coaches, im sure, have told you to play every down like it’s your last. and i can tell you right now, that is the best thing you could ever do. it ends all too soon. thirty years from now, the scars will have faded, the jersey will get packed away somewhere, and the world will have forgotten about you as you were. but when you look down and see that tarnished ring, you will remember. i swear to god you will remember every drill, every game, every down. you will remember every man as if you turned in your helmet last night. you will remember that short time, when, against all odds, and all common sense, you were kings. you were those goliaths waging war under the lights of the gods.

when i die, creamate me and sprinkle me on the field.

nick.