And It Begins

The people Brad have been staying with waylaid me at the local convenience store today.  They are upset because he and another boy stole two small engines and have disappeared.  They started by asking me why I didn’t let them know Brad has a drug problem.  Well, when my kid shows up on your doorstep with a tale of woe, did it ever occur to you to contact the parent and find out what’s actually going on?  So, I filled them in on everything, including the fact that their  boy is one of the main characters Brad gets high with, was with Brad the night they stole my wifes car and wrecked it, and that they were high at the time.  Told them that I know their son does pot, fake bake (marijuana substitute), cocaine and meth, because he has done ALL of those with Bradley.  He tried to deny it, so I told them to look in the base of his football trophy, that’s where he tends to hide his pipes.  They did, it was there, as well as several crack rocks.  I know this because I’ve raised four boys and numerous foster children, and am a former police officer.  It’s a VERY popular hiding place for boys.

Brad had come by earlier in the day and tried to start a confrontation with me.  It got ugly, I made hiim leave and told him to stay away.  That was apparently before he and his cohort decided to burglarize the home Brad was a guest in.  He texted me several hours later apoligzing for his behavior and said I was right about everything and doesn’t expect forgiveness.  It’s a common precursor to wanting to come back because he has nowhere else to go.  So I responded with the truth.  It’s not a matter of forgiveness, that’s as automatic as loving him, but he has chosen a lifestyle I can’t support.  I told him I loved him and to be safe.  Haven’t heard anything since.

So, now I wait for the inevitable texts and phone calls telling me he’s changed and will follow the rules, etc.  And I’m sitting here forcing myself not to pick up the phone and check on him.  I know I have to let him go through all this on his own, even if he ends up in jail, but it’s a conditioned response to want to fix everything for my kids, so I have to keep reminding myself that helping him is NOT helping him.

Well, I’ve run this around and around in my mind since yesterday, and I’m tired of thinking about it for now.  Going to bed to try to turn my brain off so it can reboot to another subject tomorrow.  Going to try to lose myself in yardwork, I’ve been very neglectful and it’s time to put out some rose bushes.