Hold’Em

So, two weekends ago, I try to organize a poker game. A poker game, in my book, needs to have at least four people to be worth the trouble. Unfortunately, I have to stretch to find four friends and/or acquaintances. So, that Friday, I have four people RSVPed for a game, three of which, including myself, are also up for a game on Saturday if preferred, and I have a different fourth player RSVPed for the Saturday (I know that was possible the most awkward possible way I could have chosen to explain that, but yeah. Three plus one guy for Friday, or same three plus a different guy for Saturday. Heh.).

Anyhow, for reasons I’m not quite sure of now, both nights fall through. I think some people who RSVPed couldn’t be contacted closer to the date, or something, and we just sort of went, fuck this, another time.

So, I try again to schedule a game for last weekend. We get a tentative four happening, then my best friend goes AWOL and drops all contact for the whole weekend. I thought he was dead, but it turns out he just left his phone at work on Friday and was too tired to bother coming over at all. Hmph.

So, I say, fuck this, I’m sick of making all this effort for nothing, if anybody wants a game, they know where I live, screw trying to be the big organizer.

So today, I’m totally fucked up on oxy, my buddy comes over with bourbon, and we drive around for a while drinking bourbon and killing time. We head over to this other guy’s place, and three other guys are there, and somebody says flippantly to me, "You look like you’re ready for some poker!" (I was wearing a cap and sunglasses). I casually respond, "Hell, I’m always up for poker," and he says we should have a game. I think he’s kidding, but next thing I know, everybody’s decided we’re going back to my place to play cards. {sigh}

Now, these guys, they have this fucking irritating habit of insisting to go out to a bar to have a beer. Literally. So, I figure if we’re going to a bar first, I ought to at least put a clean shirt on, if not a better outfit overall (I was dressed to go nowhere and do nothing, like I’d expected to be doing). So I go home, put a clean shirt and jeans on, brush my hair, spray some deodorant on – basically my half-assed going-out-but-not-really-out getup. And my buddy and I meet the rest of the guys at the bar.

By the time we get there, they’re just finishing up their first – and incidentally, only – beer. As we’re sitting down, they finish their drinks and go "Okay, seeya guys, have fun!", and the guys who don’t want to play poker get up and piss off. The rest of us stare blankly around for a minute, and are all like, "So…. poker? Yeah." and leave also.

Glad I bothered putting a fucking clean shirt on for that!

Anyhow, I did well in poker. Walked away with fifteen bucks, even though ten of it was just what one of the guys owed me already before the game. So, a five dollar win over a ten dollar buy-in. Can’t scoff at a 50% return on investment! =)

It was an enjoyable game too. Lots of big wins and big losses and money changing hands rapidly, rather than just a grind of low bets and folds the whole night. Fun was had.

Seriously though, I need more friends, and more reliable friends. I’d like nothing more than a regular guaranteed poker game. Well, I lie. I’d like a blowjob a lot more than a regular guaranteed poker game. But still, a steady game would be nice too. =)

But, unless I can ever make friends with at least four people who can agree to be in one place at one time in advance without having to make their plans six minutes before they execute them, that’s just never going to happen. =(

On other fronts, I’m wanting to maybe get off my painkillers this week, so, I’m going to have a really bad week. It’s not that I don’t feel I need them, but I know my supply is limited, and I feel I’m starting to depend on them too much. The one thing I never wanted to be doing was taking them every single day, and for the past two weeks, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. And I sort of feel that I overdosed a little today. Not that I took any more than my usual half recommended dosage, but I’ve been on lots of medications most of my life, I know my body and I know my meds, and something just wasn’t right today. I could feel my brain trying to reject the constant onslaught of narcotics, and it wasn’t pretty. So, I decided that as of tomorrow, I’m going clean for a while. The comedown is an absolute and total bitch, but I’d rather do it by choice than wait until I just run out and can’t get any more, to cross that rocky bridge.

We’ll see if I have the willpower. I hurt right now, but I always hurt at the end of the day after the pills have worn off. I wonder if come tomorrow morning, I’ll have the strength to Say No To Drugs…

I have to admit, I’m getting a bit overwhelmed by OpenDiary lately. I normally keep updated with reading my favorites and posting my RYNs quite well, but I let it get away from me, and now with each passing day, it gets worse and, much like my email Inbox, the bigger the task becomes, the more I put it off, and the vicious circle continues. And frankly, almost all of you update far more often than I do. And at the best of times, I can only get motivated to visit OpenDiary if I have an entry I want to post – and hell, quite often, not even then. I have several entertaining stories I’ve wanted to tell that I just couldn’t be bothered writing up at the time. And with as many favorites as I have, and the length of my average entry, it’s the work of the better part of an afternoon to actually visit OD, post an entry, and then catch up on my favorites and post my notes and RYNs from my last entry.

I guess I’m just whining, but yeah. I keep going to tackle my growing favorites list, and catching up on three or four diaries and noting them, and then the day just runs out, or something else comes up, and by the time I come back again, I have another entry I want to post, and there are several more notes to respond to, and everybody on my list has posted three more entries, and it just ends up strangling me. I wish that the OD favorites page showed your unread entries for each diary, or new posts since you last read that diary, not since your last login. You’d expect nothing less from any free forum package, but for some reason, OD has to do it a stupid way. Personally though I could catch up a lot easier if I could see with one click where I left off last, rather than having to find my god damn place every time I visit a diary again!

Anyways, it’s 3AM here, and that’s way past my usual bedtime lately. Wish me luck with my messy comedown – or hell, wish me luck even if I don’t. With the way I reacted to my meds today, I think I’m going to have a bad day tomorrow whether I take them or not…