Stay in Your Lane

Stay in your lane.

I don’t know when or where this saying originated but it feels like a safe harbor.

I am by nature/nurture an easy person. I am an optimist and my hope about tomorrow never seems to die. I like to try stuff and I am interested in almost every topic. Although I like helping people, I am not empathetic nor do I have any close friends, but people like to see me appear. I’ve been hurt but I always get back up. I’m a glass half-full, it-could-be-worse kind of person.

One of my dad’s nicknames for me was “Boss”. I was/am an only child. My friends were all younger than I and I always chose the role of Mom and Teacher in our pretend play. In high school I had a few good friends, but was not popular, good-looking or talented. No boyfriend, no parties, no dances.But in the early 1970s, I found myself married and still am, to the same person.

As much as I dislike to, I confess the recent changed associated with the pandemic have worn me down. Plus it doesn’t help that I turn 70 next June. I notice I am withdrawing and I tell myself to let people go. They won’t even notice. I stop my responses on the tip of my tongue.

This afternoon I was relaxing in my recliner while my husband was playing golf. I turned on the TV – the Roku – and Endeavor Season 1 Episode 2 was up on Amazon Prime. It’s been months, maybe years since I first became infatuated with the main character. It is one of few shows set in the 1960s. As I started to watch the episode, one I have seen at least once, maybe twice, that “this is my kind of show” feeling came on me. My reaction? I thought who can I share this great series with?
I don’t like that. Social media has ruined me. It’s okay to just like something and enjoy it by yourself.  To heck with the share button.