all the little/big things

the job topic.

Interestingly, the mom from the afternoon job left a message asking if I’d like to talk about the 5 year old in particular and if I needed anything, as well as checking with me about how I felt if they scheduled a friend to come over for a playdate.

so I called her back, and suggested that we institute a rule that the girls tell me where they are going, so I know where they are if they go up to see their parents or outside or somesuch. the mom heartily agreed to that.

she asked how things are going with the 5 year old, and if she needs to talk to her and if so, what would I like. so I said I get some surly looks from her and sometimes she ignores what I say, so it would be good if the mother explains their family rules for how we talk to other people, etcetera. She agreed and will do that.

then she asked how I felt about the playdate. the idea is to give the 5 year old a chance to hang out with someone her age and make social connections, and it might relieve some tensions. I said I felt fine about it, she offered to pay me extra, so I said I usually do $24 an hour for nannyshare with 2 kids total, so she agreed to that rate. not sure how often that will happen, they were having some scheduling trouble on the days I’m not there, so thought if I was willing they might do it on days I am there.

I was impressed. She definitely gave me the impression she isnt planning to be flakey, and is taking this job seriously to some extent. She also views me as a professional and asks for my opinion and ideas, which I like. I needed that.

Abundance.

wow, abundance is pouring in on all sides.

I’ve got a new family to babysit for occasionally, they are a bit funny, sort of scatterbrained mom, but rather nice. I babysat on Saturday for them and it was fabulous because the kids went to bed before the parents left, and I got 4 hours of homework time, which relieved a lot of school guilt pressure for me. I made a lot of progress and was proud of myself. and getting that time to do homework felt like abundance, an extra bonus to be paid $20 an hour to do so!

I’ve got other babysitting jobs lining up, I’m just worried about taking on too many jobs now and not having enough time to do homework. I’m praying about it. if I turn down jobs, then I will get fewer job offers, people like you to say yes to them, so hopefully I can do everything.

the friend abundance thing is working, too.

we are going out with K’s coworker and his girlfriend this week.

the family I work for with a baby asked if we want to hang out socially, too, and I said yes! and told them about a tiki bar that K and I love (they have a full bar at home, so I figured it was safe to suggest it). I really like them, and it would be fun to hang out with them.

loans.

K’s big $30,000 loan at 7% interest is now down to $7500. wow. that is just amazing. he’s still got two other loans that totaled about $30,000 that he’s just doing slightly over minimum payments on, not sure what their total is now, probably slightly less than the original loan. they are 3 and 4% interest, so we’re working on the highest interest loan and getting rid of it now. the big one should be paid off by this fall, then he can focus payments on the other two loans. yay!

my loan of $4000 got two payments in February totaling $600. yay! it’s now about $3450. there was a $52 interest charge for doing too few units last semester, which I will try to get them to remove if I can, at worst that should be the only interest charge now that I’m in school at higher units.

worst worst case scenario is they could/might try to keep charging me interest on it, but I think demonstrating my current student status might fix that. the loan isnt due to be paid until I’m done with school, so I’m trying to just do payments now to pay it off before interest charges hit.

I’m sort of thinking of suggesting a race to pay off these loans with K, to make it a game. I can only do over the table money for payments so that would be challenging.

relationship.

I read a book at the library titled “for better” that talks about what makes a strong relationship. I skimmed through a couple chapters. there was a chapter on housework and it was a lot about how husbands dont often do their share of housework and how this causes a ton of strain on their wives and lowers overall happiness for her, and if she’s not happy, she loses her sex drive and they have less sex, etc. I kept paging through the chapter to see what to do if your husband does most of the housework and cooking and you want to make it more equal. there was no such discussion! I guess I have a very rare husband, a very precious and smart man.

I talked to K about it, and he feels like it’s pretty equal. I still have to work hard to do my share, as he just does a ton of work here. it is hard to keep up with him. there is something so nurturing and attractive about a man working and cleaning.

I’m also good about saying thank you, recognizing little things he does, and appreciating it a lot.

we are very, very happy. we rarely have a tiff about anything, and at worst we argue briefly or go quiet for a bit, then talk it out. and we really talk it all out.

last time we had a tiff, we had talked it all out and things were better, but I still felt a bit funny. I told him how I felt, and he was a little surprised, having thought we had resolved it all, but he took it seriously and reviewed the things we had resolved, and asked what my concerns were and what he could do. and he made it clear he would be very careful about the tone he used with me, and would ask more questions if I seemed stuck or wanted advice on something. and also asked me to communicate more about what I need from him.

we can both be really honest when we screw up, and talk about it. 99% of the time, we treat each other like we cherish each other. that 1% of the time we make mistakes, never because we dont cherish each other, but because what we’re doing isnt working for the other person, so then we make it right with each other. he doesnt like to be tickled, and I’ve had to learn that a few times (alas, I can be an idiot!). talking it through with him a few times, I realized I just really want to play, but tickling wasnt working for him as a way to say so. now when I feel the urge to tickle him or something, I can actually say, “hey, I want to play!” and then we can wrestle or something. and we are both much happier.

I cherish time with him. weekends are precious, having a whole day with him is a delight, and we try to at least have Sundays together. yesterday we got off work and were home around 330pm and it was so wonderful just hanging out together. it felt like an extra day off.

Cats.

funny thing, we’ve discovered that each of us has a cat who pushes our buttons.

Ginny likes to sit in front of me, stare at me disapprovingly, and then do this weird meow at me and squint her eyes until she gets circles under her eyes. She does this until all the nerves in my body are tingling. she does not do this trick to K. just me. and eventually I just cant take it anymore. K is unbothered by it, as she is not doing it to him.

Fabian does the same thing to K. I dont even know what it is, I think it must be something similar. some eerie cat power. I can see it, that Fabia