should I switch jobs?

So the job with the baby girl is going very, very well.

However, the job with the 5 and 7 year old girls is a little challenging, and it has everything to do with the set up of the job.

So here’s what is going on.

I babysit the 2 girls after school 2 days a week, while their parents work upstairs in 2 rooms.

Naturally, the parents being there makes it a more complicated job, as the girls often (and I mean, in a 4 hour shift, about 4-5 times) run up to their parents.

There’s no clear demarcation of who is in charge, and how I’m supposed to be helping them. Initially the mother said she wanted me to be in charge unless the girls were seriously hurt and defined that well – lots of bleeding (not just a scrape) or a really big injury, and if they wanted to tattle on each other, or needed some food or something, the girls were supposed to go to me, and let their mother work while I am there.

Well, the girls disregarded these instructions, and ran up to their mother’s office over and over, and rather than her reminding them of the rule, she played with them and encouraged them to come up and interrupt her.

So I asked her what we should do, since she set up this rule, and I was trying to enforce it, and the girls just ignored what I said and ran up to her room, and she’d let them.

So the mom wanted to change the rule so that the girls could still come up and get a hug or something, because “this is the benefit of working at home, you can have these interruptions, and such, and it’s better than commuting to the city, etc etc.”

Ok, I said, we can change the rule, but it’s important that we arent saying there is a rule and then ignoring the rule. Or me saying there is a rule, and then you undermining what I say and doing something else.

So now the girls just run upstairs and hang out with their parents often, but they dont tell me they are doing so, and I’m not about to interrupt the parents in their offices when the girls do so.

And what exactly is the point of having me there?

Ok, so I’m like mild entertainment for the girls, when they want it.

Granted, the mother can set rules how she wants them, but there’s a 5 year old who doesnt want an authority figure in her life. This is pretty typical at 5, the whole battle for power and all that. She is acting surly if I even talk to her sometimes, and ignores what I say a lot.

But this babysitting situation is pretty confusing for me, and even moreso for the 5 year old. If she doesnt have to listen to me, she won’t. There needs to be some level on which she relies on me to help her and be in charge. But the parents’ arrangement defeats that from ever happening.

My greatest concern is that if we go for a walk down their street with cars speeding along like crazy, if I call the 5 year old because I see a car coming, will she decide in that moment to disobey me because she doesnt feel like listening to me?

Overall, I also get the feeling the job is temporary. I think the parents are pretty flakey, and they have gone through a lot of babysitters in the past year, and I realize it wasnt the babysitters’ faults. they also announced they didnt need me the second week, and I was a bit stunned by the sudden drop in income. so I asked them how often this would happen, if they could give me a heads up on future shedule changes, etc, as a kind way to ask them if they are going to be super flakey. looks like they dont think they need to pay me when they dont need me, which also tells me not to take this job or schedule seriously. she seemed to get the message, and instead of cutting both days, cut just one that week, and also told me of a few future weeks they wont need me (spring break, 2 weeks in july).

The mom did seem really nice at the beginning, and acknowledged the challenges of watching children while the parents are home (you’d be surprised how many parents dont think of that as a challenge), and we discussed the concerns and possible problems with that.

And, of course, I adore the girls. I love working with them, they are really sweet, and learning how girls communicate differently and doing girl related stuff all the time is so much fun. I love that part of my job. It is a new challenge, and I like it a lot.

and so. this is complicated. I also should add, the parents had forgotten to mention street cleaning days on their street (I did ask them about parking on their street), and I hadnt seen the signs, so when I got a $49 ticket yesterday, they paid for it, which was very kind of them.

meanwhile. K said, hm, too bad you turned down that after school job offer you got recently. which got me thinking.

a family I have done occasional babysitting for asked me a week or two ago if I had afternoons available to watch their son, who is just miserable with his afterschool care program. I said I was booked, but they just want 2-3 days a week. they are pretty reasonable to work with, and the parents would be at work, I’d just pick up their son and take him home and hang out with him.

it’s very tempting. I’d know what I was getting with them. I think they would be pretty easy to work with regularly, nothing is perfect, but they are very reasonable. I’d probably be challenged getting the son to do his homework and such (he was just diagnosed with adhd), but he’d probably be pretty independent. I would earn a little less, and maybe be working slightly less, but I’ve got plenty of babysitting jobs for extra work right now, and I really could use more time to get homework done.

plus the baby job is going to expand at some point to more hours. the mom has 2 part time jobs, one is still on hold for awhile with no return date yet, but she would like to return to it. she had also asked about whether I was open to nannyshare down the line, which I am. I really love that job. (plus, they are so awesome, they asked if I could do date nights for them, and said I could bring my husband with me to keep me company! yay! K and I could watch hgtv and he could see their fabulous house I’ve been telling him all about it).

anyway. so, back to the job with the two girls.

my gut instinct is that it’s going to be a flaky job. and wont last long. I could be wrong. it might just be the job is just uncomfortable because it is new. so. I was wondering what you thought on this job.

I have only ever left a childcare job once before of my own choice, so I feel a bit funny leaving a job, I dont want to get a reputation as flakey, and yet, I’ve been doing childcare for 30 years, I have a good feeling for when a job is a good situation and when it isnt. And someone has to take care of me. sometimes I have to remind myself to advocate for myself.

but it feels especially tough for those little girls. they have already been through a lot of babysitters.

I’m not sure if that other job is still available. it might be. 🙂

or I can see what happens with the seemingly flakey job, and see how long it lasts.

see if the job with the baby expands at some point.

plus I will need to start library internships in the fall, and I think the job with the boy might end then, which would work out well, as he’d have a different teacher for afterschool care program.

help!

honestly, I feel like I am juggling too much right now. I dont have nearly enough time fo