In other news… K’s parents

K and I got home from our honeymoon to find out his mother had left his father.

K called his dad, and got a little more information, but not much.

His parents got home from the wedding, and his mom didnt talk to his dad at all, treated him like a wall. He told her she could fix things still, that it wasnt too late yet, she could still turn this around.

On Wednesday, his mom sent his dad a brief email: “I’m leaving you.”

She moved out the next day, moving in with her boyfriend, who reportedly wants to marry her.

She told K’s dad he was not allowed to tell anyone at all.

They planned to talk on Monday, yesterday, to figure out how to divide everything up.

K’s dad is worried. Everything is in joint accounts, bills are in his name. she has always controlled the money, and could ruin him. She has all the passwords and every access to their accounts. He’s scheduled for hernia surgery next month, on her health insurance, as it is better coverage than his work’s health coverage. He asked her if she planned to ruin him, and she said no.

This reminds me a bit of how she controlled K’s money, It was only last year when he got her off of the joint account, he had to get his mom to remove herself from his account. She says things like, “If my sons charge up expenses on my hotel account, I can take the money right out of their accounts just as fast.” She said this last month on our trip to Disney World, knowing full well she can’t do that to K anymore, but I kept silent. Thank god she no longer has that kind of control over him. She controlled all of his student loans, had all the loans paid out to her and doled out money to him when he asked for it. Even though the loans were fully his responsibility to pay. Which I suspect made him feel disconnected from it all, he had no idea of how huge his debt was since she controlled it all.

So, yeah, we are both concerned that she might do some nasty things with money with K’s dad.

K’s dad is a strong Catholic, he’s not willing to grant her a divorce because it is fully against his beliefs.

and she says she wants to marry the loser she’s seeing now.

so I’m wondering if that’s her bargaining chip. She’d have to have one hell of a bargaining chip to get him to sign divorce papers, and money just might be it.

I agree with K’s grandmother – the loser that had an affair with her is not going to be a good catch. It’s never a good start to a relationship to be a part of cheating, to date a cheater, and to be willing to cheat with them. It’s pretty much a guarantee that you’ve got two people who have very poor values, and who are capable of doing pretty nasty things to other people.

You can always judge a person’s character by how they treat someone they no longer like. If they treat that person terribly, you can bet when they suddenly no longer like you, they’ll treat you just as badly.

K said his mom cried for hours on the disney trip, according to his dad. I said, hmm. you want to know what i think that was about? K said he could guess. I said she was crying about herself. crying because now everybody knew she was having an affair, and she didnt plan that to come out. she was really angry at her husband for telling his sons that she wanted a divorce. right. because she wanted to come out smelling like a rose, say oh he’s being so mean, poor me. and make everyone believe it, and not have any clue how nasty she is being. it spoiled her whole plan. sure she was upset, and I’m sure she was quite upset about her mom telling her off to her face. she didnt expect that at all.

K thought so too. she wasnt crying because she was sad, or because her marriage is a mess and a wreck. she was crying about her own damn self.

oh. interesting. she wanted to be her niece’s confirmation sponsor. that’s an important role in the Catholic church – the sponsor is like a spiritual role model, available for guidance, answer questions about confirmation etc. something like a

uhm. K’s dad told her she cant be a confirmation sponsor. she’s breaking a Catholic Sacrament (huge in our church), and an active adulteress. you cant exactly be a good role model right now.

so, to my surprise, K’s dad recommended that his niece ask me to be her confirmation sponsor. I’ve no idea if she will, but I was touched that he thought I would be great for that role.

We havent heard yet about how the meeting went yesterday. She was supposed to pick up the last of her things that day and leave the keys and garage door opener.