Introspection
I am finding out so much more about myself through therapy and introspection. One thing I’ve uncovered through research and talking with my therapist is that I was misdiagnosed. I was diagnosed with Bi Polar 2 disorder originally after only sitting down with a psychiatrist for 30 min. Now I find out that’s not the case. My PTSD symptoms were mimicking some symptoms of Bi Polar 2 disorder. I never thought I had Bi Polar. I askEd family and friends that know me very well and they didn’t believe it either. Psychiatrists and doctors never want to spend the time to really uncover what the root of your issue is. They just hear a few symptoms and slap whatever diagnoses they can on you to get you in and out as fast as possible. I do in fact though, have PTSD and ADHD, and I will hopefully be getting the proper medication for it soon. I have heard once you treat ADHD with the right medication, it can be life changing. I always felt I had so much potential and so many great ideas, but I was being held back by how overwhelmed I felt. I’m really excited to see how this all pans out. After time the PTSD symptoms will go away. They did before. I feel I need to stop being so hard on myself. It’s only been around 6 months since I went through trauma. My job now is to do everything in my power to not let someone take advantage of me, demean or use me again. I’ve set up major boundaries now and I am spending all my time on healing. I’ve also vowed to not date again for at least 6 more months. I don’t need anyone in my life to be happy. I am independent and can be fine on my own. I would like to share my life with someone, but I will take my time finding them. I was tempted to date again right after everything happened earlier this year, but I was smart enough to realize jumping in to something else wasn’t smart. Especially after how I was treated. I needed and still need time to heal and get over my trust issues again. I’ll take my last relationship as a learning experience and just be extremely thankful I am out of it.