not quite enough

You loved me for things
i wasn’t quite enough of.
And times we shared were good,
but not quite enough…

It’s a little like death,
you giving up on me,
but not quite enough.
I’m merely a ghost now–
haunting the hallways of my life
ready to wait a miserable eternity
for you to return and set me free–

but not quite enough.
A shotgun in the mouth short
of enough. Failproof.

What you didn’t see quite enough
was that i loved with all of me.
So much so that now as you seek
to destroy me, i’ll let you win
and pull my own trigger.
quite enough.

wow, that’s pretty intense. i’ve felt somewhat like you before. i hope you just take the appropiate time to heal and get through this, moving on. im sorry you were given up on, but you haven’t been in my eyes. keep your head and your heart open

soil and steel.

April 18, 2007

this looks like writing to me, honey. ryn: i think everyone feels like this. its a normal healthy part of life. but still — its best not to meddle in her still. i know its hard. but things will get better.

and dirt.

April 18, 2007

I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but things will get better. When you’re feeling a little less miserable, listen to “Effortlessly” by Sister Hazel. It’s my “moving on” song. And my “poo on you, I’m going to be whole again with or without you” song. Though I know you said otherwise in a previous entry (I have been reading, just not noting), you do need to be alone to become who you need to be. Yes, you grow a lot in the company of those you love – but, as cliche as it sounds, you have to love yourself first. Now get off the couch and engage in some self-lovin’. (sorry, couldn’t resist.)