First Week of Class

So, I started my first week of classes and field work.The work-load is going to be hard to say the least. I was really excited about my field work but my "field instructor" hasn’t really let me do much of anything yet. My field location is at a multi-generational center-they accept children, the elderly, and those with disabilities. While it seems to be a perfect fit for me-being a social work student and having experience with children and the elderly. I am amazed everyday that I go there how casual they are. They wear jeans and a t-shirt to work and when they talk to clients they leave the door wide open so anyone can listen. They also allow their staff to have relationships with other employees, which I don’t feel is right (I found this out today as I saw my field instructor flirt with one of the CNA’s and how they hung out the night before). But anyways, I don’t feel like I’m valued or that I’m respected. It’s amazing how easy it is to find out whether you’re respected somewhere. You can almost feel it as soon as you walk in, that feeling of either respect or disrespect. It’s going to be really difficult there, because as soon as I feel as if I’m not being respected I withdraw myself from everyone involved and I lose confidence in myself and my abilities. I see my "field instructor" and what he does and I know that I can do his job, but without confidence in myself I’m bound to make many mistakes. I should be used to not being respected all that much, after all I’ve only had one job where I was actually respected. This was when I worked in Chicago and I was the "head receptionist"  I have no idea how I managed to pull off that job-but I do know one thing-I was able to do it because I knew that everyone respected and appreciated me and what I did. This is the difference between succeeding in a job and failing in it–respect. I know this because when I worked at a law-firm where no one respected me I failed.

Despite this crap with field work my classes are going to be really labor intensive which I’m not excited about. I already have two papers due on Tuesday. Ugh sometimes I wish I could just give up. I know I’ll get through everything but I’m sick of going to school and not getting paid for my time and not being respected for what I do know and who I am.