Off Day

Today was an off day to say the least. I told Ryan that I just needed a day to myself. I get this way sometimes. Some days I just feel sad for no reason at all. At least not a reason I can put my finger on at the momment. Ryan was going to go to his place anyways so he could have his mom wash and iron his clothes and so he could change his oil in his car. I was also supposed to go with him so he could change my oil too. Needless to say when I told him he should just go and that I would stay here he was upset that I didn’t want to go to his place. But I told him that I just needed a day to myself and eventually he understood.

I spent a lot of the day crying, although like I said I really don’t know why. I just feel like I’m not good enough, and that I’m not doing enough. I’m quiting my job in a couple of weeks and I feel like I’m wasting away to nothing as I sit at home and wait until school starts in the fall. There are so many things I feel like I’m failing at. I’m not a good enough fiance, I’m not a good enough sister, I’m not a good enough worker, I’m not a good enough student, I’m not a good enough friend…

It kills me to think that I have tried so hard to do everything right and it’s all been for nothing. I don’t know if any of this makes any sense…I just feel like a failure…